And how they're sneaky bastards. I'll only take up a few moments, so I can't get crazy obsessive, but honestly, life is looking complicated right now. (Not omfg the car is dead and I'm pregnant in the middle of Texas and broke complicated. More the: Oh wow, so this is what a lifelong condition will look like?)
Cat no. 1 went on an awesome puke-fest yesterday, starting late last night and barfing the loaf of catfood, followed by extensive after-retching of all the bile, random juices, and empty air he had until finally we were both exhausted from whorfing/cleaning up said whorf that I showered and collapsed on the thankfully avoided bottom sheet of the bed. When I left for work, Hubs took over for a while, and then the pukapalooza pt. 2 commenced, lasting several fun and stink filled hours.
During this time, I am informed that the problem is going to be pondered by the vet on Wendesday. Great, fine, I will clean out the bathtub from voms when I get home, and we'll go to the vet on Wednesday.
As soon as the appointment was scheduled, sir heaves-a-lot was fine. Happy, healthy, cheerful, able to keep his food down, and life was looking normal. I fully expected an embarassing visit to the vet, explaining "but he was sick yesterday" while this ball of happiness and koala rainbow farts rolled gleefully on the floor.
Interesting, but there will be no skittles-fueled orgasmic unicorns in this story, apparently. He looks fine, temp is good, etc, and we decide on some bloodwork for safety's sake.
Well his bloodwork raises a middle finger and points dead at some unhappy kidneys/renal issues concealed carefully within this ball of fun and laughter (and previously, barf). So the tech got to teach me how to stick a NEEDLE under his ADORABLE FLESH and pump him full of fluids LIKE A FURRY BALLOON.
This fun and rewarding endeavor will apparently be repeated twice or so a week, along with a diet change to Crazyexpensive brand kidney cat food for a month, and then we will see what the blood says THEN.
Also, for added funsies, I get to seek a urine sample. I have been provided with 'no-sorb' litter (about a palmful), a small pipette, and a test tube. Urine, apparently, will need to be refrigerated until given to the doctor for testing. I'm more concerned that someone will develop a diva syndrome and will have to be locked in a bathroom with a small litter pan every time he looks like he's thinking about going potty. Which will result in the complete refusal to make tiddles, and the commencement of "Cat Opera in G sharp: Try to sleep/watch tv/knit through this chorus of hellbent wailing, you hateful human sow".
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
I would honestly rather be knitting.
Knitting on the Scotty's hat that mate has agreed to wear, as the weather becomes increasingly cold and bastardly.
I do not want to type you, anime review, but I'll do it because it looks like work and knitting does not. I will warn you, however, that the loft and bounce of my garter stitch Cascade 220 in a green-y heather will call to me, and I will have to drive very quickly to ensure I do not knit this on the way home.
In the car.
Possibily at times which are NOT stoplights.
I do not want to type you, anime review, but I'll do it because it looks like work and knitting does not. I will warn you, however, that the loft and bounce of my garter stitch Cascade 220 in a green-y heather will call to me, and I will have to drive very quickly to ensure I do not knit this on the way home.
In the car.
Possibily at times which are NOT stoplights.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Because I love you
We will now experiment in posting Youtube links.
If this works, the next series will introduce you to more awesomesauce from my youth.
If this works, the next series will introduce you to more awesomesauce from my youth.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Please keep your angry to yourself
I keep hearing bitchy posts about people who sell hand-crafted items for less than...well, less than almost anything short of the sun, moon, and stars.
Usually, these rants come from people who, in any other situation, would laud a fellow crafter on their accomplishment, popularity of wares, and general skill level. But as soon as one hears that a crafter is selling their wares at thrift-store/big-retail-giant prices, all hell breaks loose and the pack swoops down on the unwary with varying degrees of vulturesque ferocity.
One of these will be a harpy extremist, who will often go so far as to curse at the offender, and begin an unwarranted diatribe about how my low cost is not only undermining whatever talent/effort I may have poured into the item, but also deliberatly devaluing their own work, by perpetuating some stereotype that crafted items are kitschy and not worth enough to make a decent living on. "How dare you" will be thrown into the same screeching hiss-fit as buzzwords like "sweat shop", "small business", "living wage", and "hourly rate".
My question is not the obvious "Why are you so angry at this crafter's low prices?" but "Why do you think anyone understands the cost-of-production well enough to comprehend the astronomical fees you suggest?"
Why do we price things so far below their actual cost, in terms of materials, time, and effort? Because that is the purchasing method we use everyday. I pay about $3 for a gallon of milk. I would not pay more than triple for absolute organic 100% green milk. This is because I am purchasing the milk itself. The end item.
The average consumer does not consider the actual production costs of that milk. Stop a moment, and explore what costs are probably involved in that single grocery item. A baby cow must eat every day up to and throughout it's life until it can produce the milk I desire It also needs shelter, and hay for the stall. It may require vet visits, and medication to overcome some illness or injury. After the milk is available, the costs only continue to escalate. Equpiment and wages to milk the cow, special processing equipment necessary to pasteurize, package, and lable the milk, as well as transportation costs and wages to get the milk to the store. All in all, it must be an incredibly expensive endeavor for this one item to arrive at my grocery shelf!
However, once it has arrived, those things do not matter to me. I would not, in any way, consider that absorbing all of these costs into the price of my jug of milk to be fair to me as a consumer. I would undoubtely enjoy my million-dollar milk just as much as the cheap stuff, but I can only afford one of these options.
Knitwear and handcrafts are no different to the consumer. They are not considering the years of training/practice you went through to achieve your skill. They do not consider that you had to scour the world for that yarn/wood that would perfectly complement the idea you had for your wares. They do not include the cost of paint/needles into their consideration of the item itself, and they do not care whether you spent years or days making the item. Why should they?
To justify the prices that some professional knitters suggest to mom-and-pop crafters, you must fight the very system you currently reside in. You as a retailer are not just competing against other local and skilled artizans, but you are asking customers to suspend all of their understanding of how-to-shop just for yourself and your own wares. I can understand your motivation (to get a living wage by knitting or crafting), but really, stop blaming the non-customer who won't pay your prices, and quit hating on the crafter who is pricing their wares according to their own plans.
If I sell for a dollar, and you sell for twelve, then I'm automatically going to be more popular than you. That's not my fault. It's not yours. However, if you consider salesmanship to be part of the process, then my job is harder. I have to sell 12 of my items to equal the success you could make with one of yours. Don't bitch because some local knitter sells dishcloths for 50 cents. Just work harder to either educate your consumer base on the reasons behind your higher prices (and accept that some people will always vote with their wallet), or find another venue for your higher-priced wares.
Usually, these rants come from people who, in any other situation, would laud a fellow crafter on their accomplishment, popularity of wares, and general skill level. But as soon as one hears that a crafter is selling their wares at thrift-store/big-retail-giant prices, all hell breaks loose and the pack swoops down on the unwary with varying degrees of vulturesque ferocity.
One of these will be a harpy extremist, who will often go so far as to curse at the offender, and begin an unwarranted diatribe about how my low cost is not only undermining whatever talent/effort I may have poured into the item, but also deliberatly devaluing their own work, by perpetuating some stereotype that crafted items are kitschy and not worth enough to make a decent living on. "How dare you" will be thrown into the same screeching hiss-fit as buzzwords like "sweat shop", "small business", "living wage", and "hourly rate".
My question is not the obvious "Why are you so angry at this crafter's low prices?" but "Why do you think anyone understands the cost-of-production well enough to comprehend the astronomical fees you suggest?"
Why do we price things so far below their actual cost, in terms of materials, time, and effort? Because that is the purchasing method we use everyday. I pay about $3 for a gallon of milk. I would not pay more than triple for absolute organic 100% green milk. This is because I am purchasing the milk itself. The end item.
The average consumer does not consider the actual production costs of that milk. Stop a moment, and explore what costs are probably involved in that single grocery item. A baby cow must eat every day up to and throughout it's life until it can produce the milk I desire It also needs shelter, and hay for the stall. It may require vet visits, and medication to overcome some illness or injury. After the milk is available, the costs only continue to escalate. Equpiment and wages to milk the cow, special processing equipment necessary to pasteurize, package, and lable the milk, as well as transportation costs and wages to get the milk to the store. All in all, it must be an incredibly expensive endeavor for this one item to arrive at my grocery shelf!
However, once it has arrived, those things do not matter to me. I would not, in any way, consider that absorbing all of these costs into the price of my jug of milk to be fair to me as a consumer. I would undoubtely enjoy my million-dollar milk just as much as the cheap stuff, but I can only afford one of these options.
Knitwear and handcrafts are no different to the consumer. They are not considering the years of training/practice you went through to achieve your skill. They do not consider that you had to scour the world for that yarn/wood that would perfectly complement the idea you had for your wares. They do not include the cost of paint/needles into their consideration of the item itself, and they do not care whether you spent years or days making the item. Why should they?
To justify the prices that some professional knitters suggest to mom-and-pop crafters, you must fight the very system you currently reside in. You as a retailer are not just competing against other local and skilled artizans, but you are asking customers to suspend all of their understanding of how-to-shop just for yourself and your own wares. I can understand your motivation (to get a living wage by knitting or crafting), but really, stop blaming the non-customer who won't pay your prices, and quit hating on the crafter who is pricing their wares according to their own plans.
If I sell for a dollar, and you sell for twelve, then I'm automatically going to be more popular than you. That's not my fault. It's not yours. However, if you consider salesmanship to be part of the process, then my job is harder. I have to sell 12 of my items to equal the success you could make with one of yours. Don't bitch because some local knitter sells dishcloths for 50 cents. Just work harder to either educate your consumer base on the reasons behind your higher prices (and accept that some people will always vote with their wallet), or find another venue for your higher-priced wares.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
My soul is burning.
I want a FooPet.
I don't even care what it is. Who knows why they invented this program? It could be the cutest spyware ever, and I just want it to scamper on screen and love me.
They company, aptly named FooMojo, even warns that I should consider my emotional avialability before adopting a FooPet via online account. The thing would need feeding/watering every day, as well as occasaional medication for illnesses. I can not do this. But the Bengal. I loves me. We are MEANT TO BE TOGETHER! However, the approximate lifespan is 10 years. I don't even know what the internet will look like in 10 years!
Maybe G will adopt one with me? The site does recommend sharing account information to ensure the thing gets fed on weekends...
I need this thing, people. Well, no, I don't, but when it's staring at me, I can feel my resistance waning...
I don't even care what it is. Who knows why they invented this program? It could be the cutest spyware ever, and I just want it to scamper on screen and love me.
They company, aptly named FooMojo, even warns that I should consider my emotional avialability before adopting a FooPet via online account. The thing would need feeding/watering every day, as well as occasaional medication for illnesses. I can not do this. But the Bengal. I loves me. We are MEANT TO BE TOGETHER! However, the approximate lifespan is 10 years. I don't even know what the internet will look like in 10 years!
Maybe G will adopt one with me? The site does recommend sharing account information to ensure the thing gets fed on weekends...
I need this thing, people. Well, no, I don't, but when it's staring at me, I can feel my resistance waning...
Friday, October 9, 2009
Please pick a side
If the Bible is your basis for argument, please consider taking an "all or nothing" approach to better illustrate your beliefs to us terrible, uneducated, heathens.
Either homosexuality is bad AND selling your daughter into slavery is fine, incest is fine (and almost common), multiple wives is fine, children are property and acceptable marriage fodder, rape is fine if marriage results and all clothing and hairstyles should have FOUR CORNERS.
Or.
Homosexuality may have been written as bad once, but in light of our modern society, this opinion should be reexamined, much like the biblical stances on women's rights/role in society, red meat on friday, and the above examples. Some things might squick you out for the rest of your life. Sister 2 happens to think that tapioca pudding is gross. That doesn't mean she thinks no one should have it or enjoy it.
Please to educate yourself.
Either homosexuality is bad AND selling your daughter into slavery is fine, incest is fine (and almost common), multiple wives is fine, children are property and acceptable marriage fodder, rape is fine if marriage results and all clothing and hairstyles should have FOUR CORNERS.
Or.
Homosexuality may have been written as bad once, but in light of our modern society, this opinion should be reexamined, much like the biblical stances on women's rights/role in society, red meat on friday, and the above examples. Some things might squick you out for the rest of your life. Sister 2 happens to think that tapioca pudding is gross. That doesn't mean she thinks no one should have it or enjoy it.
Please to educate yourself.
I will go to war for Wil Wheaton.
Who is awesome.
So the story seems to be this: Wil Wheaton*sez'don'tbeadick'* , who is awesome as a person, and didn't like Wesley Crusher so much either, has an audiobook of his awesome memoir "Just a Geek." When he wrote the book and produced the audiobook, he wasn't given some huge green-ink-smelling royalty check to pad his wait for the residual royalties. He was probably given bills, instead, and ate canned cold beans while waiting for this slow-growing cult classic to find its way into the hands and hearts of appreciative readers.
Some people have pirated the audiobook file, (which is what asshats do, besides molest small animals and think dirty thoughts about their grandparents) and someone is probably selling it for less than the actual distributor, without paying any money to either the distributor or Mr. Wheaton *whoisawesome*, or even considering that this is not only illegal, but also morally wrong. (See, I do understand that sometimes those two identifiers do not occur at the same time.)
Enter the internet forums, where douchebags and self-centered opinionists can hash out the morality of this issue. I will attempt to remain calm and lucid, but this is honestly the stupidest argument I'm seeing, very similar to the Roman Polanski nonsense, but closer to my home interests.
Enter the Douchebag/Asshat arguments:
1.)The business model of money for physical item is outdated and outmoded, therefore I will spend my money where I choose in order to achieve the item/file at a speed of my choice.
Actual application: Well-intentioned, but still illegal. The business model may, in fact, be behind the times, but pirating files is still against the law. Reputable companies will someday catch up to your enhanced intellect and needs, but a career in business models and planning might help more than hoping your miniscule non-contribution to the current system will effectively highlight a large enough trend to gain notice by the very company you (hopefully) wish would cater better to your needs.
2.) Screw you, big Pharma (or equivalent). They're overcharging when I deserve it for free.
Actual application: A common misconception is that everyone should have everything they desire for free, in the belief that if life isn't fair, anything that makes it seem fairer is a legitimate excuse for all kinds of asshaberdashery. Life isn't fair. That's not just an axiom, kids. It's a provable fact. Children die before they have a chance to prove their worth to society. Rich jerks get better lawyers and escape punishment for crimes that would have anyone else shivved and raped before bedtime. You may feel like you deserve something, but really, it's very hard to prove that definitively. If by it you think you are "justified" in getting something, that's easy to disprove, if you consider justice = legal system/ruling. If you feel like you merit it, then certainly anyone would be happy to give you free things with their blessing, once you explain the many ways you have benefited them/society/your religion.
In short, this argument is almost circular, and therefore invalid for purposes of proving your opinion to be superior. "I deserve it for free" "Why?" "Because I work hard." "Well please explain that to the provider" "They might not believe me/I am too lazy" "'Lazy' means you aren't working hard, and disbelief couldn't occur if you are truly meritorous of this thing." People who use this argument should cut to the chase of either "you don't know me" or "Because I said so." They may not be more worthwhile, as arguments go, but they're faster and don't offer false indications of willingness to embrace logic.
3.) Screw you, Wil Wheaton. You don't deserve my money. You are stupid.
Actual application: Stupid. Why do you want to read his ideas/thoughts/diary/tea leaves if you feel he has no worth? You are spending your time, which immediately disproves your professed non-interest in him or his life. He made this item. You want this item (for whatever reason). The law says $ = item. If you're spending it, you are still losing it, so you may as well lose it legally. If you're downloading it for free, you are stealing from the very person whose worth you reaffirm by reading/listening to his work. Why would you believe monetarily hurting the object of so much of your time is acceptable?
Keep in mind the best and most reputable speakers for disavowing others always purchase their fodder legitimately. You can't eat from a dumpster and claim the restaurant food is bad. Don't steal the file and expect me to credit your arguments.
4.) Other people do it. (a.k.a. I didn't steal it but my acquaintance/relative did and now it's on my computer so I'll take advantage of it).
Actual application:
Please do one of the following:
Find some way to make this up to the object of interest, either by an anonymous donation of the worth of the item, or by purchasing your own copy and never downloading it.
Please begin emulating other persons who kill themselves. (Effectively, please. We don't need to make your family suffer through your coma and resulting hospital bills.) See how harsh that sounds? Do you see how following "other people" can be considered in many ways? The method that is therefore recommended is: Consider others whom you respect, and how they dealt with a similar situation. Do you think that you, in your current situation, (not in a substitutional "If I were Kanye" scenario), would benefit from a similar solution? Then, consider whether that solution is legal. If these two questions result in a "yes", then the solution can probably be followed to a more acceptable result.
4.) Your opinion of my alleged "theft" doesn't matter.
Actual application: This response is another self-hating cycle. If my opinion doesn't matter, it should not have registered on your "refuting response necessary" meter.
Also, while it may legally be true that my opinion has no legal bearing on the issue, the position of legality should have some bearing in the decision. It is hard to adequately explain that the very document and system that guarantees your right to express your jackassery should be ignored when it comes to issues of theft. Please consider the "all or nothing" Bible approach.
5.) I didn't have the money for it, so I stole it.
Actual application: As a reason for theft, this is one of the most honest and supportable arguments you can make, so long as you are consistent. Don't tell me you spent the money on a purse. If you must steal in order to make your life bearable, please carefully consider your table of priorities to ensure that as many people as possible are left unharmed.
However, DO NOT believe that this makes the theft legally or morally acceptable. Please see "life is not fair." Theft is theft, regardless of income. Theft is when you take something that has value to another without their consent or compensation. It has nothing to do with whether or not: the item/file was made available in your area in it's original format; the item/file was too expensive for you to afford easily; etc.
Recognize that what you did was at least legally, if not (provably) morally wrong. You can argue the morals all you like, but stick to your reasons, rather than the legality.
The reasons may piss me off, but at least you're not lying.
So the story seems to be this: Wil Wheaton*sez'don'tbeadick'* , who is awesome as a person, and didn't like Wesley Crusher so much either, has an audiobook of his awesome memoir "Just a Geek." When he wrote the book and produced the audiobook, he wasn't given some huge green-ink-smelling royalty check to pad his wait for the residual royalties. He was probably given bills, instead, and ate canned cold beans while waiting for this slow-growing cult classic to find its way into the hands and hearts of appreciative readers.
Some people have pirated the audiobook file, (which is what asshats do, besides molest small animals and think dirty thoughts about their grandparents) and someone is probably selling it for less than the actual distributor, without paying any money to either the distributor or Mr. Wheaton *whoisawesome*, or even considering that this is not only illegal, but also morally wrong. (See, I do understand that sometimes those two identifiers do not occur at the same time.)
Enter the internet forums, where douchebags and self-centered opinionists can hash out the morality of this issue. I will attempt to remain calm and lucid, but this is honestly the stupidest argument I'm seeing, very similar to the Roman Polanski nonsense, but closer to my home interests.
Enter the Douchebag/Asshat arguments:
1.)The business model of money for physical item is outdated and outmoded, therefore I will spend my money where I choose in order to achieve the item/file at a speed of my choice.
Actual application: Well-intentioned, but still illegal. The business model may, in fact, be behind the times, but pirating files is still against the law. Reputable companies will someday catch up to your enhanced intellect and needs, but a career in business models and planning might help more than hoping your miniscule non-contribution to the current system will effectively highlight a large enough trend to gain notice by the very company you (hopefully) wish would cater better to your needs.
2.) Screw you, big Pharma (or equivalent). They're overcharging when I deserve it for free.
Actual application: A common misconception is that everyone should have everything they desire for free, in the belief that if life isn't fair, anything that makes it seem fairer is a legitimate excuse for all kinds of asshaberdashery. Life isn't fair. That's not just an axiom, kids. It's a provable fact. Children die before they have a chance to prove their worth to society. Rich jerks get better lawyers and escape punishment for crimes that would have anyone else shivved and raped before bedtime. You may feel like you deserve something, but really, it's very hard to prove that definitively. If by it you think you are "justified" in getting something, that's easy to disprove, if you consider justice = legal system/ruling. If you feel like you merit it, then certainly anyone would be happy to give you free things with their blessing, once you explain the many ways you have benefited them/society/your religion.
In short, this argument is almost circular, and therefore invalid for purposes of proving your opinion to be superior. "I deserve it for free" "Why?" "Because I work hard." "Well please explain that to the provider" "They might not believe me/I am too lazy" "'Lazy' means you aren't working hard, and disbelief couldn't occur if you are truly meritorous of this thing." People who use this argument should cut to the chase of either "you don't know me" or "Because I said so." They may not be more worthwhile, as arguments go, but they're faster and don't offer false indications of willingness to embrace logic.
3.) Screw you, Wil Wheaton. You don't deserve my money. You are stupid.
Actual application: Stupid. Why do you want to read his ideas/thoughts/diary/tea leaves if you feel he has no worth? You are spending your time, which immediately disproves your professed non-interest in him or his life. He made this item. You want this item (for whatever reason). The law says $ = item. If you're spending it, you are still losing it, so you may as well lose it legally. If you're downloading it for free, you are stealing from the very person whose worth you reaffirm by reading/listening to his work. Why would you believe monetarily hurting the object of so much of your time is acceptable?
Keep in mind the best and most reputable speakers for disavowing others always purchase their fodder legitimately. You can't eat from a dumpster and claim the restaurant food is bad. Don't steal the file and expect me to credit your arguments.
4.) Other people do it. (a.k.a. I didn't steal it but my acquaintance/relative did and now it's on my computer so I'll take advantage of it).
Actual application:
Please do one of the following:
Find some way to make this up to the object of interest, either by an anonymous donation of the worth of the item, or by purchasing your own copy and never downloading it.
Please begin emulating other persons who kill themselves. (Effectively, please. We don't need to make your family suffer through your coma and resulting hospital bills.) See how harsh that sounds? Do you see how following "other people" can be considered in many ways? The method that is therefore recommended is: Consider others whom you respect, and how they dealt with a similar situation. Do you think that you, in your current situation, (not in a substitutional "If I were Kanye" scenario), would benefit from a similar solution? Then, consider whether that solution is legal. If these two questions result in a "yes", then the solution can probably be followed to a more acceptable result.
4.) Your opinion of my alleged "theft" doesn't matter.
Actual application: This response is another self-hating cycle. If my opinion doesn't matter, it should not have registered on your "refuting response necessary" meter.
Also, while it may legally be true that my opinion has no legal bearing on the issue, the position of legality should have some bearing in the decision. It is hard to adequately explain that the very document and system that guarantees your right to express your jackassery should be ignored when it comes to issues of theft. Please consider the "all or nothing" Bible approach.
5.) I didn't have the money for it, so I stole it.
Actual application: As a reason for theft, this is one of the most honest and supportable arguments you can make, so long as you are consistent. Don't tell me you spent the money on a purse. If you must steal in order to make your life bearable, please carefully consider your table of priorities to ensure that as many people as possible are left unharmed.
However, DO NOT believe that this makes the theft legally or morally acceptable. Please see "life is not fair." Theft is theft, regardless of income. Theft is when you take something that has value to another without their consent or compensation. It has nothing to do with whether or not: the item/file was made available in your area in it's original format; the item/file was too expensive for you to afford easily; etc.
Recognize that what you did was at least legally, if not (provably) morally wrong. You can argue the morals all you like, but stick to your reasons, rather than the legality.
The reasons may piss me off, but at least you're not lying.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
UPS, why do you tease me so?
I love UPS. I love their clever commercials. I like their trendily understated marketing slogans. I like that as soon as a horse named Big Brown became famous (during the middle of the "What can Brown do for you?") they went out and sponsored the hell out of him.
What I do not like is how their tracking service seems so touch-and-go. I am overjoyed to live in an age where I can even get a rough approximation of where a package is on a given day, unlike olden times where we had to trust that the mail wagon could be dragged along without something happening to the mammoth in the traces on the way. However, why must the updates be so sporadic, even considering the time differences? Why is my last update at 3:00 am yesterday morning? Why is my package seemingly stalled a single state away? Does this mean my package has already been delivered, and the data wasn't updated? Does this mean it will remain in package limbo until the scheduled delivery date on Friday, despite geographical approachability? Why are there so many listings for Monday, and just the two for Tuesday? Did it party too hard? Is it hungover now?
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
What I do not like is how their tracking service seems so touch-and-go. I am overjoyed to live in an age where I can even get a rough approximation of where a package is on a given day, unlike olden times where we had to trust that the mail wagon could be dragged along without something happening to the mammoth in the traces on the way. However, why must the updates be so sporadic, even considering the time differences? Why is my last update at 3:00 am yesterday morning? Why is my package seemingly stalled a single state away? Does this mean my package has already been delivered, and the data wasn't updated? Does this mean it will remain in package limbo until the scheduled delivery date on Friday, despite geographical approachability? Why are there so many listings for Monday, and just the two for Tuesday? Did it party too hard? Is it hungover now?
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
Saturday, October 3, 2009
It's on, bitches!
I'm done with the heel turn on my bayerische socks (though the current configuration of needle/stitch distribution is awkward), and am headed toward the toe as fast as I can stomach.
Also, ordered my DD stuff today and am freaking insane with happiness.
Sadly, my happiness will soon be turned to less cheerful purpose, as I must stomach going through a few tupperwares containing my childhood and see what I need to retain in order to maintain a healthy sense of personal history. Dad is selling the house, and there seems to be no further guarantee that my things will be put into storage as originally planned. I have feelings about the reasons for the change that I shall spare you, o gentle readers, lest the slow trickle of concentrated bile render your eyes useless for further reading.
Anyone want a Babysitters' Club doll? I think I have Kristi and Mary Kate...
Also, ordered my DD stuff today and am freaking insane with happiness.
Sadly, my happiness will soon be turned to less cheerful purpose, as I must stomach going through a few tupperwares containing my childhood and see what I need to retain in order to maintain a healthy sense of personal history. Dad is selling the house, and there seems to be no further guarantee that my things will be put into storage as originally planned. I have feelings about the reasons for the change that I shall spare you, o gentle readers, lest the slow trickle of concentrated bile render your eyes useless for further reading.
Anyone want a Babysitters' Club doll? I think I have Kristi and Mary Kate...
Friday, October 2, 2009
Still no pictures
Okay, my super late present is finally here, and I'm going sort of haywire with Volks Dollfie Dream stuff. I'm ordering her a whole new torso, (AND testing their hair-dryer plan at home), some wig sticky, a wig cap, a body suit that helps to protect her from staining, and some freaking socks.
Then! I will investigate knitting some laceweight sweaters, since the outfit from volks that includes a VERY loosely knit and sheer sweater (and a cute skirt) is way out of my price range. I do have sock needles, and hell if I can't knit something just as good, and possibly with more shaping, and definitely less see-through.
The shoes are still an issue. A ridiculous issue.
My main gripe is this: there have GOT to be other Continental North American Dollfie Dream owners out there. People for whom the aesthetic and price were met and merged in this economic and adorable collectible. The ultimate in customizable figures, she stands an impressive 25" tall (approx) and has fantastic poseablility and is even able to stand on her own. Extra head molds are also available, as well as hands, body parts, wigs, and eyes to make each doll as unique as the owner's vision can allow. However, customizing your character or ideal collectible is not complete without clothing. )At least, for those who aren't planning on simply displaying their doll as a poseable anime-esque nude.)
Granted, I know where the other owners are (denofangels, mostly, or hiding out as normies without devoting much online presence to their doll), but WHERE are these people getting clothing for their doll. AND SHOES?!?
Volksusa sells things custom-tailored for Dollfie Dream, and they're always great, but they don't offer a lot of variety or options. Where are the standard blouses? The skirts? (THE SHOES!) Where is the plain underkimono, and elaborate outer kimono? The different school shoes or loose schoolgirl socks? Surely the whole world doesn't plan to knit such socks in such tiny gauges? I mean, I can on some 000 needles or something, but really, shouldn't this be the age of industrialism, where my every desire is met in huge quantities for a reasonable value of work-to-cost? Do these other owners not care that their home-made outfit looks horrible because it came from a pattern for a completely different doll? Do they like that the print on their doll's sundress is way too huge for any concept of realistic scale to apply? Did they always dream of a doll with a rabbit fur wig that looks like matted crap? Don't get me started on face-ups, also. I've seen some good ones, but for every one that looks professional, there seems to be another person perfectly proud to own a crack-whore clown.
You spent money on this. A lot of it. If you have the budget to waste these things, please just send me your money and pretend that you bought, ruined, and have "stored" another ABJD. I will pretend also, and we can chat about your not-real (and therefore not ruined, wasted, or stored beyond your sight) doll. For every $200 you send, I will give you 6 months of fake friendship, during which time I will listen, rapt, to your every rambling about this idealized character you've imagined for your doll, gush over your description of the outfits, wigs, and accessories you envision, and devotedly sigh when you itemize the contents of it's tiny purse. It will be like having a doll so perfect that it can't exist in this reality. And your money will be put to entertaining use, purchasing things for my own doll that are suited to this reality, yarn for my knitting habit, and a big screen tv for my front room.
Still, if you spent the money on a this hobby, and feel that you'd like to save up for another doll or five, why aren't you taking the effort to either pony up for tailor-made outifts, or at least attempting to create something that looks feasable yourself? Why do things half-assed? If you're going to do it, go all out. Stop wasting money on brand-name food, and spend it on your dolls. If you must, craft these necessities yourself! You took the time to learn the lingo, browse hundreds of yahoo!Japan auctions, and familiarize yourself with every nuance of your new toy. Now try learning new skills to further your domination of this retail sport! Sew a decent skirt, but not just something that covers the doll pelvis. Look at a skirt in a store, and then imagine that shrunk down porpotionally. Don't tie a strip of fabrick from armpits to knees and belt it with a rubberband. That is not a dress. Anyone who wears that in public, and believes they look normal, either needs medication and therapy, or euthenasia. Surely we, who produce such geniuses that can paint masterpieces on pinheads and craft intricately detailed miniature homes and embroidered coinpurses can figure out fabric scale, design, and sewing. And the shoes...
Barefoot is only an option if it matches the outfit's theme or implied location. A beach dress? Fine. A winter coat? Not fine.
People used to make shoes from SCRATCH, after all. We relied on cobblers (or lots of wrapped rags) for hundreds of years before we came up with the whole extra-continental child-labor factories. Surely it can't be that hard to figure out, right?
There has GOT to be an easier way to achieve shoes that don't look like Cabbage Patch shoes on a Barbie. I'm thinking thin plastic soles cut to match the doll feet, and then making a shoe form by doing a mold of said foot with clay (safely wrapped in saran-wrap), and baking this impression into a mold. Then, fill the mold with white clay, and the baked result should render a feasable model. The white clay appendage will not only be much less valuable, in case of breakage, stabbage, or gluage, but also might show staining hazards long before I put the item on the actual doll. I could also glue or sew a thin material liner to the interior to help prevent staining.
Then I can stretch heavy starched canvas or thin leather over the foot mold however I want, and wet/stretch to shape. Stitch to size/shape, glue to sole, and done, right?
If I can figure this much out with my limited grasp on clothing creation, where are all you nutty people who could do it better? Are you all so intensely devoted to completely opposite crafts/hobbies? All of you?
Then! I will investigate knitting some laceweight sweaters, since the outfit from volks that includes a VERY loosely knit and sheer sweater (and a cute skirt) is way out of my price range. I do have sock needles, and hell if I can't knit something just as good, and possibly with more shaping, and definitely less see-through.
The shoes are still an issue. A ridiculous issue.
My main gripe is this: there have GOT to be other Continental North American Dollfie Dream owners out there. People for whom the aesthetic and price were met and merged in this economic and adorable collectible. The ultimate in customizable figures, she stands an impressive 25" tall (approx) and has fantastic poseablility and is even able to stand on her own. Extra head molds are also available, as well as hands, body parts, wigs, and eyes to make each doll as unique as the owner's vision can allow. However, customizing your character or ideal collectible is not complete without clothing. )At least, for those who aren't planning on simply displaying their doll as a poseable anime-esque nude.)
Granted, I know where the other owners are (denofangels, mostly, or hiding out as normies without devoting much online presence to their doll), but WHERE are these people getting clothing for their doll. AND SHOES?!?
Volksusa sells things custom-tailored for Dollfie Dream, and they're always great, but they don't offer a lot of variety or options. Where are the standard blouses? The skirts? (THE SHOES!) Where is the plain underkimono, and elaborate outer kimono? The different school shoes or loose schoolgirl socks? Surely the whole world doesn't plan to knit such socks in such tiny gauges? I mean, I can on some 000 needles or something, but really, shouldn't this be the age of industrialism, where my every desire is met in huge quantities for a reasonable value of work-to-cost? Do these other owners not care that their home-made outfit looks horrible because it came from a pattern for a completely different doll? Do they like that the print on their doll's sundress is way too huge for any concept of realistic scale to apply? Did they always dream of a doll with a rabbit fur wig that looks like matted crap? Don't get me started on face-ups, also. I've seen some good ones, but for every one that looks professional, there seems to be another person perfectly proud to own a crack-whore clown.
You spent money on this. A lot of it. If you have the budget to waste these things, please just send me your money and pretend that you bought, ruined, and have "stored" another ABJD. I will pretend also, and we can chat about your not-real (and therefore not ruined, wasted, or stored beyond your sight) doll. For every $200 you send, I will give you 6 months of fake friendship, during which time I will listen, rapt, to your every rambling about this idealized character you've imagined for your doll, gush over your description of the outfits, wigs, and accessories you envision, and devotedly sigh when you itemize the contents of it's tiny purse. It will be like having a doll so perfect that it can't exist in this reality. And your money will be put to entertaining use, purchasing things for my own doll that are suited to this reality, yarn for my knitting habit, and a big screen tv for my front room.
Still, if you spent the money on a this hobby, and feel that you'd like to save up for another doll or five, why aren't you taking the effort to either pony up for tailor-made outifts, or at least attempting to create something that looks feasable yourself? Why do things half-assed? If you're going to do it, go all out. Stop wasting money on brand-name food, and spend it on your dolls. If you must, craft these necessities yourself! You took the time to learn the lingo, browse hundreds of yahoo!Japan auctions, and familiarize yourself with every nuance of your new toy. Now try learning new skills to further your domination of this retail sport! Sew a decent skirt, but not just something that covers the doll pelvis. Look at a skirt in a store, and then imagine that shrunk down porpotionally. Don't tie a strip of fabrick from armpits to knees and belt it with a rubberband. That is not a dress. Anyone who wears that in public, and believes they look normal, either needs medication and therapy, or euthenasia. Surely we, who produce such geniuses that can paint masterpieces on pinheads and craft intricately detailed miniature homes and embroidered coinpurses can figure out fabric scale, design, and sewing. And the shoes...
Barefoot is only an option if it matches the outfit's theme or implied location. A beach dress? Fine. A winter coat? Not fine.
People used to make shoes from SCRATCH, after all. We relied on cobblers (or lots of wrapped rags) for hundreds of years before we came up with the whole extra-continental child-labor factories. Surely it can't be that hard to figure out, right?
There has GOT to be an easier way to achieve shoes that don't look like Cabbage Patch shoes on a Barbie. I'm thinking thin plastic soles cut to match the doll feet, and then making a shoe form by doing a mold of said foot with clay (safely wrapped in saran-wrap), and baking this impression into a mold. Then, fill the mold with white clay, and the baked result should render a feasable model. The white clay appendage will not only be much less valuable, in case of breakage, stabbage, or gluage, but also might show staining hazards long before I put the item on the actual doll. I could also glue or sew a thin material liner to the interior to help prevent staining.
Then I can stretch heavy starched canvas or thin leather over the foot mold however I want, and wet/stretch to shape. Stitch to size/shape, glue to sole, and done, right?
If I can figure this much out with my limited grasp on clothing creation, where are all you nutty people who could do it better? Are you all so intensely devoted to completely opposite crafts/hobbies? All of you?
Friday, September 25, 2009
Sometimes life is harder than it needs to be.
Or at least that's how it seems.
Here's the deal: I have a Dollfie Dream, which is awesome. She has very few clothes, which is not awesome. I got her for a number of reasons, not least of which my fascination with small objects and miniatures, which I felt would give me great squealing glee to dress her in the flounciest of hand-made fashions and match them down to every detail. After all, at about 2 feet tall, outfitting her perfect wardrobe would be much easier than outfitting my own, right?
Wrong.
I can get an outfit for around $60, not including shoes. She can get an outfit for $80, including shoes. So it's her or me.
Fine, I'll make her some clothes.
Except I loaned my sewing machine to 6, and haven't received the promised replacement torso from D yet, so I am loathe to use her only functioning body as a dress form.
Still, in the interest of crafting something, perhaps I can wrap my brain around documenting my struggle, from masking-tape-and-t-shirt-dress form to figuring out how to make awesome shoes for her.
Damn you, plasticland, and the love of retro-awesome you have instilled in me.
Here's the deal: I have a Dollfie Dream, which is awesome. She has very few clothes, which is not awesome. I got her for a number of reasons, not least of which my fascination with small objects and miniatures, which I felt would give me great squealing glee to dress her in the flounciest of hand-made fashions and match them down to every detail. After all, at about 2 feet tall, outfitting her perfect wardrobe would be much easier than outfitting my own, right?
Wrong.
I can get an outfit for around $60, not including shoes. She can get an outfit for $80, including shoes. So it's her or me.
Fine, I'll make her some clothes.
Except I loaned my sewing machine to 6, and haven't received the promised replacement torso from D yet, so I am loathe to use her only functioning body as a dress form.
Still, in the interest of crafting something, perhaps I can wrap my brain around documenting my struggle, from masking-tape-and-t-shirt-dress form to figuring out how to make awesome shoes for her.
Damn you, plasticland, and the love of retro-awesome you have instilled in me.
Friday, September 18, 2009
I have an (unappetizing) picture
True to my future intents, I have brought a picture to share. Behold: Baby Goat Cookies!
So named because while they started out as individual items, a single serving apiece as-it-were, they cooked into each other and now resemble what I always found intriguingly cute about Cthulu mythos: "Shub-Niggurath: The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young". This baking tray holds all manner of cinnamon-sugar biscuit-y things, all nestled up cute next to each other as I imagine a field of adorable baby goats.
I am aware, naysayers, that not only is Shub-Niggurath horrendous beyond belief, whose very visage would render any functioning person a mere gibbering heap of meat and fear. And bones, obviously. Still, the name continues to tender images of frolicking, bleating, can-eating, and wooly baby goats, their tiny horns festooned with garlands of spring flowers.
Hence, Sugar-"Nom"urath cookies.
Eat it. (<-Ha!)
They were edible, if somewhat undercooked, and have yet to induce delusions or dementia of any kind.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I have problems.
1.) I still don't like to post without pictures. It's fine to write, but super boring to read. I need to work on this, but the thing is...well... I guess there isn't a thing. I'll start using the hell out ouf USB drives to provide photos I guess.
2.) I hide from my second job. I have taken to carrying around my notebook and chumpworthy USB drive to encourage this to stop. Still, I tend to not even crack the laptop at home as often, as if I'm saving it for something special. Like the lifespan will be extended if I conserve its use as much as possible. Not true, I'll bet. Also, the keyboard likes to pretend, randomly, that I'm pressing CTRL. Makes it really hard to do anything, since typing the letter "t" can open a new tab online while you're in the middle of a search , or attempting to utilize the word can't will:
First center the text, then open a new file, then tab the indent over to the left.
Suxxorz.
3.) I think I'm addicted to either avoiding busywork, or the internet. The first is a minor problem. The second, well, it may be a symptom really. Since we lost our high cubicle walls at work, I am forced to hear every. single. inane. word out of my coworkers mouths. Who dated whom over the weekend. How someone's sister/brother/aunt/cousin/sorority sister had a baby and how big it is and what it's name is and isn't that outfit the sweetest? Can you believe Kanye blah blah blah. Oh no Patrick Swayze blah blah blah. Hear me be witty. Aren't I catty? We're so awesome.
My only refuge is my headphones and frontalot, or youtube, or hulu. Using these sites as my personal radio, I am sometimes able to forget their inaninty for a time. However, I run out of material long before they do, and thus, I am forced to look at kitten photos to contain my rage and ascerbic taunts.
Please, people, use the phone to talk to people in offices across the way. Open some kind of chat screen or something. Please focus on work, or quietly blog, like the rest of us.
Also: Dear "superiors". If you have gone through the trouble of putting together an envelope of materials to be mailed, sealed it, and then write the address by hand on a post it note...well, you're just dumb. Doing all that work and dropping the item off to me to be mailed is just adding an extra step. Try, oh, I dunno...WRITING THE ADDRESS ON THE ENVELOPE! Then the job is done! No steps! No useless and unnecessary delegation!
2.) I hide from my second job. I have taken to carrying around my notebook and chumpworthy USB drive to encourage this to stop. Still, I tend to not even crack the laptop at home as often, as if I'm saving it for something special. Like the lifespan will be extended if I conserve its use as much as possible. Not true, I'll bet. Also, the keyboard likes to pretend, randomly, that I'm pressing CTRL. Makes it really hard to do anything, since typing the letter "t" can open a new tab online while you're in the middle of a search , or attempting to utilize the word can't will:
First center the text, then open a new file, then tab the indent over to the left.
Suxxorz.
3.) I think I'm addicted to either avoiding busywork, or the internet. The first is a minor problem. The second, well, it may be a symptom really. Since we lost our high cubicle walls at work, I am forced to hear every. single. inane. word out of my coworkers mouths. Who dated whom over the weekend. How someone's sister/brother/aunt/cousin/sorority sister had a baby and how big it is and what it's name is and isn't that outfit the sweetest? Can you believe Kanye blah blah blah. Oh no Patrick Swayze blah blah blah. Hear me be witty. Aren't I catty? We're so awesome.
My only refuge is my headphones and frontalot, or youtube, or hulu. Using these sites as my personal radio, I am sometimes able to forget their inaninty for a time. However, I run out of material long before they do, and thus, I am forced to look at kitten photos to contain my rage and ascerbic taunts.
Please, people, use the phone to talk to people in offices across the way. Open some kind of chat screen or something. Please focus on work, or quietly blog, like the rest of us.
Also: Dear "superiors". If you have gone through the trouble of putting together an envelope of materials to be mailed, sealed it, and then write the address by hand on a post it note...well, you're just dumb. Doing all that work and dropping the item off to me to be mailed is just adding an extra step. Try, oh, I dunno...WRITING THE ADDRESS ON THE ENVELOPE! Then the job is done! No steps! No useless and unnecessary delegation!
Monday, August 17, 2009
OMG WHO NEEDS REAL PETS
Work all day? Can't get your fix of belly-up cats while away from home?
Try Abowman for all your google blog gadget needs. And this could be just the motivation I need to blog daily! Who would feed my Hamtaro otherwise? Who WOULD FEED MY FISH?
Try Abowman for all your google blog gadget needs. And this could be just the motivation I need to blog daily! Who would feed my Hamtaro otherwise? Who WOULD FEED MY FISH?
Obsession=poissonne
I find myself unwilling to write anything, but desperately craving a reason to go to blogger.
To feed the fish.
The not-real fish to your right.
The gadget some genius made that makes me wish it was a leetle more in-depth so it could completely replace my need to keep the betta at home. (Noro. He knows he's replaceable. I keep him for his prettiness, and I can get another if he decides to kick off. The last one was named Noro also, as will be the next.)
I already have a foster home lined up for him, I think.
Things to consider: possible background that looks like a riverbed or fishtank bottom, or a screen from Frogger. Cute little mouths to nobble at the food. Optional tank decoration (those cave things in colors that even ravers would blink at). Breeding possiblities! Tails, coloration, completely unrealistic breeds! I could spend days at this. I am not lying. I have completed decades in various Harvest Moon incarnations. I lust for a Wii not for its strange and interesting controls, or even the variety of disney-tastic games, but merely for the Harvest Moon option of raising ducks, geese, chickens, sheep, goats, and OSTRICHES! Natsume, if you could just get on the Chocobo-breeding ball, I would dedicate years of my life to carefully breeding interesting colorations of all available animals, desperately seeking the elusive gene to give my llama wings or allow my chicken to lay decorated eggs.
Also, as most humans, I am interested in this AdSense thing. Why yes, I would like you to give me money for absolutely no vested energy in return, as well as filling up that embarassingly bare space to the left of my blog.
However, I would like to select the advertisers, or at least the products that will be displayed. Knitting or anime things, but not shoelaces or that godsawful "mom's secret" tooth cleaning discovery or waistline adjustment feeding schedule/supplement (normally called a "diet"). Can we do that, Google?
I mean, here is my blog, and thanks, but if we're pretending I'm in charge, you can't take the keys away when we get to the car.
To feed the fish.
The not-real fish to your right.
The gadget some genius made that makes me wish it was a leetle more in-depth so it could completely replace my need to keep the betta at home. (Noro. He knows he's replaceable. I keep him for his prettiness, and I can get another if he decides to kick off. The last one was named Noro also, as will be the next.)
I already have a foster home lined up for him, I think.
Things to consider: possible background that looks like a riverbed or fishtank bottom, or a screen from Frogger. Cute little mouths to nobble at the food. Optional tank decoration (those cave things in colors that even ravers would blink at). Breeding possiblities! Tails, coloration, completely unrealistic breeds! I could spend days at this. I am not lying. I have completed decades in various Harvest Moon incarnations. I lust for a Wii not for its strange and interesting controls, or even the variety of disney-tastic games, but merely for the Harvest Moon option of raising ducks, geese, chickens, sheep, goats, and OSTRICHES! Natsume, if you could just get on the Chocobo-breeding ball, I would dedicate years of my life to carefully breeding interesting colorations of all available animals, desperately seeking the elusive gene to give my llama wings or allow my chicken to lay decorated eggs.
Also, as most humans, I am interested in this AdSense thing. Why yes, I would like you to give me money for absolutely no vested energy in return, as well as filling up that embarassingly bare space to the left of my blog.
However, I would like to select the advertisers, or at least the products that will be displayed. Knitting or anime things, but not shoelaces or that godsawful "mom's secret" tooth cleaning discovery or waistline adjustment feeding schedule/supplement (normally called a "diet"). Can we do that, Google?
I mean, here is my blog, and thanks, but if we're pretending I'm in charge, you can't take the keys away when we get to the car.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Flapper
3:09 pm. Will post letter momentarily instructing possible sock-test sock recipient on how to measure biggest part of foot. Will also begin heel flap on next "knit break"*.
*Hey, I don't smoke, but I still think I deserve occasional breaks just as a smoker would. Just because I'm not chemically addicted to anything doesn't make me less of a lazy asshole.
*Hey, I don't smoke, but I still think I deserve occasional breaks just as a smoker would. Just because I'm not chemically addicted to anything doesn't make me less of a lazy asshole.
Perfectionism at work?
I find that I don't want to blog unless I have a picture that illustrates what I'm talking about.
Example:
1.) I'd like to ponder the reasons some persons prefer the 2 [circular] needle method of sock knitting. I use one really long needle, and can't see the benefit of using two, unless it was the bonus of having a second needle in that size for emergencies. Still, I feel I need to show my position with photos. Edited to add: It seems that my method is the "magic loop" method. I still feel it is easier to knit with ONE circular in the dark, especially if each side of the sock is using a different needle. My mental image of two-circ socks is a tube growing vertically between two opposite-spinning wheels. Interestesting, perhaps even Seussical, but not practical.
2.) I'd like to discuss day 4 of the sock test-knit, and illustrate my preference for the "slip-replace-k2togtbl" method of making a "ssk"-ish left leaning decrease.
3.) I need to post my awesome Star Trek photo, but I have to scan it somehow first. Brace yourselves for a photo of a photo.
4.) I am reviewing a Devil May Cry complete box set, and the interior DVD cases feature a heapin' helping of crotch each, though I suppose it is meant to showcase the gun in the character's hand? This is too weird for me to not document it for the masses.
Example:
1.) I'd like to ponder the reasons some persons prefer the 2 [circular] needle method of sock knitting. I use one really long needle, and can't see the benefit of using two, unless it was the bonus of having a second needle in that size for emergencies. Still, I feel I need to show my position with photos. Edited to add: It seems that my method is the "magic loop" method. I still feel it is easier to knit with ONE circular in the dark, especially if each side of the sock is using a different needle. My mental image of two-circ socks is a tube growing vertically between two opposite-spinning wheels. Interestesting, perhaps even Seussical, but not practical.
2.) I'd like to discuss day 4 of the sock test-knit, and illustrate my preference for the "slip-replace-k2togtbl" method of making a "ssk"-ish left leaning decrease.
3.) I need to post my awesome Star Trek photo, but I have to scan it somehow first. Brace yourselves for a photo of a photo.
4.) I am reviewing a Devil May Cry complete box set, and the interior DVD cases feature a heapin' helping of crotch each, though I suppose it is meant to showcase the gun in the character's hand? This is too weird for me to not document it for the masses.
Monday, August 10, 2009
TV land is so...organized.
So I'm listening to Hulu right now, which I use as a work-aid, to keep me from overhearing the conversations from the other (recently closer-sitting) employees.
Monk is on, and I am thinking not "Oh no! What will Mr. Monk do! Certainly he can solve this case, if anyone can." but, instead "Wow, that's professionalism!"
The 'victim' discovered that someone was trying to kill her on her way to a book signing. (I'm 2 minutes in, so she can have one mark around the word, but neither actual quotation marks nor a complete lack thereof. I grew up with Scooby-Doo. In the absence of a elderly, uneducated recluse, always suspect the second new person introduced on screen.) The very book signing Mr. Monk is eagerly awaiting. He discovers the crime not via her arrival from the sky like a weird Mary Poppins, pulling herself from an impact crater, charred and disoriented from a car bomb liquifying her organs without puncturing her with shrapnel. Rather, the crime is suggested when the bookstore owner judisciously (sp?) informs his customers of the cancellation due to attempted flash-fry. First I think: Wow, that could have been said with more respect for the victim, but he is clearly someone easily swayed by sensationalist news announcements. Then: Hmm, I wonder how he knew. He saw it on the news, so he assumed she wouldn't appear? Or...did a wonderfully organized publicist take a moment between arranging the health insurance claims of the author to drop a quick phone call to let everyone know the evening's new schedule? Where I used to work, I doubt we'd get, or even expect, such a call in the wake of an attempted murder. These things regretfully and understandably fall to the wayside for about 12 hours when you almost become pasta sauce, but now this woman's publicist is not only prompt, but her professionalism is saving face for the bookstore as well. (We would've spent the evening repeating "We're not sure why they haven't arrived, but we hope all is well and they get here soon to sign a book for you and the rest of the ungrateful masses, I mean, customers who could clearly never steal, ruin, break-and-reshelve, or let their children smear feces on the wall." Hooray fictional publicist!
Monk is on, and I am thinking not "Oh no! What will Mr. Monk do! Certainly he can solve this case, if anyone can." but, instead "Wow, that's professionalism!"
The 'victim' discovered that someone was trying to kill her on her way to a book signing. (I'm 2 minutes in, so she can have one mark around the word, but neither actual quotation marks nor a complete lack thereof. I grew up with Scooby-Doo. In the absence of a elderly, uneducated recluse, always suspect the second new person introduced on screen.) The very book signing Mr. Monk is eagerly awaiting. He discovers the crime not via her arrival from the sky like a weird Mary Poppins, pulling herself from an impact crater, charred and disoriented from a car bomb liquifying her organs without puncturing her with shrapnel. Rather, the crime is suggested when the bookstore owner judisciously (sp?) informs his customers of the cancellation due to attempted flash-fry. First I think: Wow, that could have been said with more respect for the victim, but he is clearly someone easily swayed by sensationalist news announcements. Then: Hmm, I wonder how he knew. He saw it on the news, so he assumed she wouldn't appear? Or...did a wonderfully organized publicist take a moment between arranging the health insurance claims of the author to drop a quick phone call to let everyone know the evening's new schedule? Where I used to work, I doubt we'd get, or even expect, such a call in the wake of an attempted murder. These things regretfully and understandably fall to the wayside for about 12 hours when you almost become pasta sauce, but now this woman's publicist is not only prompt, but her professionalism is saving face for the bookstore as well. (We would've spent the evening repeating "We're not sure why they haven't arrived, but we hope all is well and they get here soon to sign a book for you and the rest of the ungrateful masses, I mean, customers who could clearly never steal, ruin, break-and-reshelve, or let their children smear feces on the wall." Hooray fictional publicist!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Full of fail
1.) I went online to post some things, and ended up completely caught up in Ravelry.
2.) I knitted a sweater a while back (now finished) and had to knit an entire sleeve a second time for reasons related to gauge (see photo).
(Not obvious enough? Try comparing the apparent relative size of the circular part of the pattern. Still no? Fine! The ribbing, let me show you it)
(Both sleeves are knit with the same needles. Promise. Same number of rows, also. Y'know, for that professional "I can follow a pattern" look.)
2.) I knitted a sweater a while back (now finished) and had to knit an entire sleeve a second time for reasons related to gauge (see photo).
(Not obvious enough? Try comparing the apparent relative size of the circular part of the pattern. Still no? Fine! The ribbing, let me show you it) 
(Both sleeves are knit with the same needles. Promise. Same number of rows, also. Y'know, for that professional "I can follow a pattern" look.)3.) I worked diligently on a lovely purple sock, only to discover after my fun-filled family vacation that I was supposed to knit into the back of all knit stitches. Perfectionism demanded that I frog back to the un-scrogged parts. (In order retain some of the awesome star trek goodness, I surmised that completely frogging the sock was counterproductive, and kept as much of the original intact as possible.)
3.5.) Then, today, upon my trip to a coffee shop to pass along some workflow to a cohort, I discovered that I have left the sock (now reduced to ribbing and half of a pattern working, when I had completed the HEEL TURN before discovering my pattern misap) at work. I am considering fetching it, but am forcing myself to face the literal reality that I need the gas more than I need that sock to be with me. Here, now, tonight. I could always cast on a lacy scarf or something.
Abillion.) Oh yeah! Fail number abillion! Eldest brother, K, has giant feet. I, however, wanted to knit some socks for his birthday worthy of his victorian-era christmas letter. Unfortunately, my brain does not equivocate big feet with pattern scale, so I have ambitiously chosen Eunny Jang's Bayeriche. Which does not look like it will fit onto giant feet. I will have to, therefore, alter the pattern signifigantly in order to ensure even the possiblity of wearability.
And more words that end in -y.
Damn.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Start-itis sounds much better than Starti-itosis
So I finished my fair isle sweater, down to the lack of blocking (which I will consider doing only after soaking a handful of the trimmings into both hot and cold water, and then eyeballing to ensure I can still pick out "white" from the group). And my Francis Revisited is truly, TRULY chugging along due to the huge gauge.
And the huge needles I required to get gauge.
And the constant remeasuring really wants bigger needles, but I have my limits. I get nervous the farther away from the original designer's needle size I get. It's like walking down parallel hallways. Everyone else took that hallway, but I have to go on this one, and I can't see to judge if I'm getting close to where they ended up or just headed straight to the boiler room door.
But now I have to decide what to knit for Smiles [K]! It has to be portable, for maximum sister time, and it has to be awesomely absorbing, or I'll lose interest hundreds of miles from my stash of other yarn. And it should also be...simple? So I can take a few brain cells away from holding the plane aloft during the flight to knit it without puking on the passenger next to me.
(Why did you think planes stayed in the air? Physics? No! People like me who use the entirety of their brain power to keep the plane in the air!)
I'm thinking of using the time to knit Krefto's socks. In a manly grey. With limited design? I'll ask what he'd like before I start, if I remember.
And the huge needles I required to get gauge.
And the constant remeasuring really wants bigger needles, but I have my limits. I get nervous the farther away from the original designer's needle size I get. It's like walking down parallel hallways. Everyone else took that hallway, but I have to go on this one, and I can't see to judge if I'm getting close to where they ended up or just headed straight to the boiler room door.
But now I have to decide what to knit for Smiles [K]! It has to be portable, for maximum sister time, and it has to be awesomely absorbing, or I'll lose interest hundreds of miles from my stash of other yarn. And it should also be...simple? So I can take a few brain cells away from holding the plane aloft during the flight to knit it without puking on the passenger next to me.
(Why did you think planes stayed in the air? Physics? No! People like me who use the entirety of their brain power to keep the plane in the air!)
I'm thinking of using the time to knit Krefto's socks. In a manly grey. With limited design? I'll ask what he'd like before I start, if I remember.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I am the phantom disagree-er.
It's me. And I'm not shy of admitting it, here at least. If I admit at the scene of the crime, not only would I lose my mystique (I'm Batman.) but it would defeat the very purpose of disagreeing without owning it. I am punishing you, after all. Using means available to me, and keeping safely away from your 6 square reach on that touch attack of enraged mad-freakout.
When you're a douche, when you are crazy judgemental, when you join the "I Heart Cats" group and say "yeah, but dogs are better. In fact, cats are lame." I'll be there. Like Darkwing Duck. I am the disapproval that comes from nowhere.
When you've really upset me, and I feel that a public forum is not the place to have a logical discussion with someone who's obviously so far beyond crazy that crazy can't see you anymore, I look up your Ravelry profile. Then I click on "posts", then I hit every post you've ever done and disagree with it, just to be sure that you know someone hates you with every fiber of their being. When my anger winds down, I stop. Sometimes I don't get beyond 8 or so posts. Sometimes I get through all of them. (Those are the real dirtbags.) Then, when you bitch about the phantom disagree-er, I laugh and wipe a tear from my eye. It makes me happy.
I just wish it caused you some physical pain.
When you're a douche, when you are crazy judgemental, when you join the "I Heart Cats" group and say "yeah, but dogs are better. In fact, cats are lame." I'll be there. Like Darkwing Duck. I am the disapproval that comes from nowhere.
When you've really upset me, and I feel that a public forum is not the place to have a logical discussion with someone who's obviously so far beyond crazy that crazy can't see you anymore, I look up your Ravelry profile. Then I click on "posts", then I hit every post you've ever done and disagree with it, just to be sure that you know someone hates you with every fiber of their being. When my anger winds down, I stop. Sometimes I don't get beyond 8 or so posts. Sometimes I get through all of them. (Those are the real dirtbags.) Then, when you bitch about the phantom disagree-er, I laugh and wipe a tear from my eye. It makes me happy.
I just wish it caused you some physical pain.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
What killed Professionalism, and are the police looking into it?
So, Ravelry provides me with almost as much drama as my cop/paranormal shows.
I recently read on this blog some craaaazy talk from someone who probably considered himself a professional. And to email it via Ravelry just seems the height of whack-a-doo, y'know?
Go, read it! I'll wait!
See? How crazy was that? I don't really take personal sides on the issue. I mean, I bought it for those lacy stockings, but I never really considered the lack of sizing options on most of the patterns... But, I digress.
The blogger was just that, a blogger. I know something about life, really, and I know that most blogger.com pages are unaffiliated with large, consumer-controlling, life-changing corporations. Blogs were originally intended to be personal, as in one person detailing their life, their ideas, and their opinions in what was hopefully an attempt to either self-treat mental blocks/issue through anonymous venting, or to reach out and find other like minds to support them in their causes.
(The day we allowed others to comment on our ideas was a sad day for ego, but a terrific day for bullies whose area of influence had reached it's physical limits. But, again, I digress.)
Blogs are, in short, personal opinions. Replying to them is usually unnecessary and largely pointless. Forums are where people can go to openly disucss ideas. Scrawling a note in my online diary does not un-make what I've stated, or re-work my mind. However, apparently one designer from the recent issue of Vogue Knitting decided that his particular brand of venom would cow the blogger into retraction and then silence? So he sent a very nasty email?
How can this possibly be construed as professional conduct???
Some helpful tips for the future:
1.) It's a blog. Try to regard them all as text messages from teenagers, and of little account to the larger workings of the world. Granted, some of them are very influential, but try to judge this on a blog-by-blog basis. If this person wanted their idea broadcast to the nation, they are probably aware of faster, more widespread ways. (I judge this based on the fact that the person in question has the technical knowledge to blog, and obvious access to the internet.)
2.) It is unprofessional to attack bloggers. They are, by definition, the underdog, the little-person, the common man. Attacking bloggers is fruitless, and makes you look like a complete dork/jerk/asshat.
2.) When you are published in a book/magazine/newsletter, try to consider that you represent that work and the publication it is printed in. Think twice, no, think fifteen or sixteen times before you hit 'send'. And then don't hit it. It's safer not to respond until twitter picks up the problem, or you get a go-ahead from the publication, or your agent. The world might call you 'late to the game' but you'll have a fantastic chance to carefully compose your response to get the best possible reaction.
3.) When judged harshly, try defending your work instead of assaulting the critic. And don't throw your employers under the bus by saying it was their idea that you change your masterpiece. Don't admit that you felt a design detail that you included was unnecessary and unflattering. Explain either your reasons for the inclusion (i.e. 'The magazine felt my design needed something extra to make it pop', 'the editors felt that my design as originally submitted lacked the sense of whimsy they were going for, and nothing is more whimsical than a ruffle', etc.) or direct naysayers to the appropriate venue so their ideas will reach the publication responsible for their ire.
4.) Always refrain from personal attacks directed at someone you've never met. This includes phrases like "Doughball." Try also not to judge someone's worth based on their influence in the 'knitting world'. Are you saying that unpublished knitters have no worth? That's not good for your audience. As knitters, they are helping to carry this craft forward into the future. Saying that only publication of your designs vindicates your interest in the craft is not only untrue, but also not helpful to your future career.
Also, know that because you were a douchebag, I am considering sending a complaint of your conduct to your recent employers, and will definitely not purchase anything you are involved in ever again. And I'm telling all my friends. They may be few, but they have other friends, and they have other friends, and so on. So at the end, all 12 of us (or more) will have been influenced more by your negative and overblown response than we would have been by the original blog.
***Obviously these rules only apply to those who wish to appear professional and collected. If you want to flame peta, or go nuts about teen sexting, be my guest, but if you get published, try to keep what good reputation you gained by the process.
I recently read on this blog some craaaazy talk from someone who probably considered himself a professional. And to email it via Ravelry just seems the height of whack-a-doo, y'know?
Go, read it! I'll wait!
See? How crazy was that? I don't really take personal sides on the issue. I mean, I bought it for those lacy stockings, but I never really considered the lack of sizing options on most of the patterns... But, I digress.
The blogger was just that, a blogger. I know something about life, really, and I know that most blogger.com pages are unaffiliated with large, consumer-controlling, life-changing corporations. Blogs were originally intended to be personal, as in one person detailing their life, their ideas, and their opinions in what was hopefully an attempt to either self-treat mental blocks/issue through anonymous venting, or to reach out and find other like minds to support them in their causes.
(The day we allowed others to comment on our ideas was a sad day for ego, but a terrific day for bullies whose area of influence had reached it's physical limits. But, again, I digress.)
Blogs are, in short, personal opinions. Replying to them is usually unnecessary and largely pointless. Forums are where people can go to openly disucss ideas. Scrawling a note in my online diary does not un-make what I've stated, or re-work my mind. However, apparently one designer from the recent issue of Vogue Knitting decided that his particular brand of venom would cow the blogger into retraction and then silence? So he sent a very nasty email?
How can this possibly be construed as professional conduct???
Some helpful tips for the future:
1.) It's a blog. Try to regard them all as text messages from teenagers, and of little account to the larger workings of the world. Granted, some of them are very influential, but try to judge this on a blog-by-blog basis. If this person wanted their idea broadcast to the nation, they are probably aware of faster, more widespread ways. (I judge this based on the fact that the person in question has the technical knowledge to blog, and obvious access to the internet.)
2.) It is unprofessional to attack bloggers. They are, by definition, the underdog, the little-person, the common man. Attacking bloggers is fruitless, and makes you look like a complete dork/jerk/asshat.
2.) When you are published in a book/magazine/newsletter, try to consider that you represent that work and the publication it is printed in. Think twice, no, think fifteen or sixteen times before you hit 'send'. And then don't hit it. It's safer not to respond until twitter picks up the problem, or you get a go-ahead from the publication, or your agent. The world might call you 'late to the game' but you'll have a fantastic chance to carefully compose your response to get the best possible reaction.
3.) When judged harshly, try defending your work instead of assaulting the critic. And don't throw your employers under the bus by saying it was their idea that you change your masterpiece. Don't admit that you felt a design detail that you included was unnecessary and unflattering. Explain either your reasons for the inclusion (i.e. 'The magazine felt my design needed something extra to make it pop', 'the editors felt that my design as originally submitted lacked the sense of whimsy they were going for, and nothing is more whimsical than a ruffle', etc.) or direct naysayers to the appropriate venue so their ideas will reach the publication responsible for their ire.
4.) Always refrain from personal attacks directed at someone you've never met. This includes phrases like "Doughball." Try also not to judge someone's worth based on their influence in the 'knitting world'. Are you saying that unpublished knitters have no worth? That's not good for your audience. As knitters, they are helping to carry this craft forward into the future. Saying that only publication of your designs vindicates your interest in the craft is not only untrue, but also not helpful to your future career.
Also, know that because you were a douchebag, I am considering sending a complaint of your conduct to your recent employers, and will definitely not purchase anything you are involved in ever again. And I'm telling all my friends. They may be few, but they have other friends, and they have other friends, and so on. So at the end, all 12 of us (or more) will have been influenced more by your negative and overblown response than we would have been by the original blog.
***Obviously these rules only apply to those who wish to appear professional and collected. If you want to flame peta, or go nuts about teen sexting, be my guest, but if you get published, try to keep what good reputation you gained by the process.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Simple Pleasures
I watch a lot of anime. A lot. Seriously. I practically get paid in anime, so I've seen a lot of things. Unfortunately, this means I've seen a lot of One Piece, which, over time, apparently results in brain lesions that simulate mild enjoyment when watching the show. I think my brain is bleeding, but nothing is leaking out yet, so I'll just wait for oblivion to wipe my shame from the earth.Incidentally, viewing 13 episodes really gives you a fantastic chunk of time where your hands are unoccupied, freeing up that 13MBs of brain-space to open a new window and let you knit while you watch tv! I finished my socks this way, and am now trudging through several more inches of Husband's scarf. Really need to get paid, though, so I can order the SBJ pattern and have that at hand. Imagine! The garter stitch! Oh the simplicity!
Also! I recently picked up a new novel while visiting our local comic store (Comic Interlude . Highly recommended for that authentic geek feel, with towering piles of anime/comic related merchandise stacked so deep that they qualify as sub-par building materials and literally define the store's layout, and aisles so full of comic happiness that you have to walk single file around the the center pile o' swag, as if paying a strange homage to the ink-stained gods of stories past.) and have rediscovered the soul-glowing wonder that is: Reading a book you've never read before.
True to form, the novel I currently am savoring is Hellboy: Fire Wolves, and it's pretty awesome. Of course, Hellboy is usually awesome, and when writers are so taken with Mike Mignola's characters and world that they themselves are deemed worthy of contributing....well, it helps a lot. My only fear is that Poor Mr. Lebbon will find himself succumbing to that ever-present societal undercurrent of underdog vs. world stories, and give Hellboy a romantic interlude with the damsel in distress. I hate that.
Also! I recently picked up a new novel while visiting our local comic store (Comic Interlude . Highly recommended for that authentic geek feel, with towering piles of anime/comic related merchandise stacked so deep that they qualify as sub-par building materials and literally define the store's layout, and aisles so full of comic happiness that you have to walk single file around the the center pile o' swag, as if paying a strange homage to the ink-stained gods of stories past.) and have rediscovered the soul-glowing wonder that is: Reading a book you've never read before.
True to form, the novel I currently am savoring is Hellboy: Fire Wolves, and it's pretty awesome. Of course, Hellboy is usually awesome, and when writers are so taken with Mike Mignola's characters and world that they themselves are deemed worthy of contributing....well, it helps a lot. My only fear is that Poor Mr. Lebbon will find himself succumbing to that ever-present societal undercurrent of underdog vs. world stories, and give Hellboy a romantic interlude with the damsel in distress. I hate that.
(And let me take a moment to eyeball you in an intimidating manner, Del Toro. You have stained the world I love, and will never be forgiven. Also, WTF with Pan's Labyrinth? You need mental help, and I almost hope you never get it, so your twisted visions will drag you into a strange new level of torment from which there is no escape. I mean, yes, Mignola is teh awesum, but you're like the cruel bigger kid that, recognizing within your primitive perception a kind of beauty you can't achieve on your own, gloms onto the artistic child and drags them into your rounds, having them kick the victims after you've pushed them into the mud and stolen their ice-cream money. Then you twist your features into that manic smile, declare "We're so the best of friends!" in that screeching howl you use when you are happy and, using one crooked paw to steer/drag your accomlice with you, you begin plotting your next assault. We all see it, and we hope to whatever powers that be that the artistic one escapes your 'friendship' before their talent turns ugly-by-association.)
Hellboy is undeniably cool, but I find I can't accept the possibility of him having 'flings'. By his very nature and origin, he a lonely and long-haul type of guy (however long or short that 'haul' may be), so I find the possibility of throwing a random damsel into the mix mildly disgusting. Also, Del Toro, Hellboy practically raised Liz, in a definite big-brother fashion. Again, you need to seek psychiatric care.
Hellboy is undeniably cool, but I find I can't accept the possibility of him having 'flings'. By his very nature and origin, he a lonely and long-haul type of guy (however long or short that 'haul' may be), so I find the possibility of throwing a random damsel into the mix mildly disgusting. Also, Del Toro, Hellboy practically raised Liz, in a definite big-brother fashion. Again, you need to seek psychiatric care.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Because I do not yet control space-time
Do you know that I have funny stories about my work, but I feel I can't share them with you?
I would love to go into great detail about these, but I fear this outlet is not anonymous enough to protect the sensitive eyes of possible clients.
I will give you the short version:
I work in advertising, assisting the completion of up to 5 publications at a time. One of these is weekly, and printed a full 4 days prior to the date printed on the cover. Our deadlines for each issue fall in the previous week, to ensure that we have enough time to organize a layout, arrange for any ad changes, and to give us a small overnight cushion between printing and shipping.
On a day when my boss was absent, I recieved a call from an upset client, claiming a problem with the hot-off-the-presses issue. I whipped out my copy, bracing myself for a copy error that listed a wrong number, email, contact name, etcetera. Expecting something huge and evil that could seriously affect a client's business, right?
Wrong.
"Alright, I've got my copy open in front of me. What can I do for you?"
The client wants in this issue.
I am shocked. How can...? What? Surely not. Surely there is just a confusion of issue dates and they want in next week.
Wrong.
The client discussed the matter with my boss, and was assured they could be in the issue of their choosing.
Oh crap. This is bad. Did I miss a call? I am now frantically scrabbling through my desk. Looking for an overlooked post-it, or email, or blood trail with message scrawled in life-juice.
Customer is becoming upset. This issue should include their ad. What can I do about this? (They are becoming upset, probably, at my quiet freak-out, instead of smooth explanations. I've worked on that since then.)
I am still kicking files apart, for all the world like an addict seeking out that final "in case" hit. People could be getting shot and I would be shaking the computer in an attempt to jostle some information on this client into functionality. What to do? Should I offer a reconciliatory free ad? Do I have that authority? Was it even our fault? Wait....wait a second.
"When did you discuss this with my boss?"
Last month, it seems. And again, a week or so ago. Did they tell anyone they wanted the ad then?
No. The decision had not been made at the time. It was made this morning.
Oh. Relief, like a sweet breath of air in space. Now I simply have to find a way to gently explain our processes to this person.
"I am terribly sorry, but as I told you, I am looking at the finished issue now."
Yes, they are aware. They'd like to be in this issue. Still perturbed, but very professional and direct.
"Um...my apologies, but the issue is printed, and being distributed. I can get you into the next issue without any problem."
Nope, that would require a new decision. Can we simply not slide them in? (Now, I am grateful that this person is still trying cajoling tactics. Sometimes people are angry when they have ad-emergencies.)
I am sorry, but it is not physically possible to go back, put your request in, and then print all the current issues to include your placement. Why, you ask?
See title.
This is seriously like calling your old high-school and telling them that you secretly wanted to be in cheerleading, so can they arrange that? You'd like your photos taken in high-school and distributed in your senior yearbook.
I would love to go into great detail about these, but I fear this outlet is not anonymous enough to protect the sensitive eyes of possible clients.
I will give you the short version:
I work in advertising, assisting the completion of up to 5 publications at a time. One of these is weekly, and printed a full 4 days prior to the date printed on the cover. Our deadlines for each issue fall in the previous week, to ensure that we have enough time to organize a layout, arrange for any ad changes, and to give us a small overnight cushion between printing and shipping.
On a day when my boss was absent, I recieved a call from an upset client, claiming a problem with the hot-off-the-presses issue. I whipped out my copy, bracing myself for a copy error that listed a wrong number, email, contact name, etcetera. Expecting something huge and evil that could seriously affect a client's business, right?
Wrong.
"Alright, I've got my copy open in front of me. What can I do for you?"
The client wants in this issue.
I am shocked. How can...? What? Surely not. Surely there is just a confusion of issue dates and they want in next week.
Wrong.
The client discussed the matter with my boss, and was assured they could be in the issue of their choosing.
Oh crap. This is bad. Did I miss a call? I am now frantically scrabbling through my desk. Looking for an overlooked post-it, or email, or blood trail with message scrawled in life-juice.
Customer is becoming upset. This issue should include their ad. What can I do about this? (They are becoming upset, probably, at my quiet freak-out, instead of smooth explanations. I've worked on that since then.)
I am still kicking files apart, for all the world like an addict seeking out that final "in case" hit. People could be getting shot and I would be shaking the computer in an attempt to jostle some information on this client into functionality. What to do? Should I offer a reconciliatory free ad? Do I have that authority? Was it even our fault? Wait....wait a second.
"When did you discuss this with my boss?"
Last month, it seems. And again, a week or so ago. Did they tell anyone they wanted the ad then?
No. The decision had not been made at the time. It was made this morning.
Oh. Relief, like a sweet breath of air in space. Now I simply have to find a way to gently explain our processes to this person.
"I am terribly sorry, but as I told you, I am looking at the finished issue now."
Yes, they are aware. They'd like to be in this issue. Still perturbed, but very professional and direct.
"Um...my apologies, but the issue is printed, and being distributed. I can get you into the next issue without any problem."
Nope, that would require a new decision. Can we simply not slide them in? (Now, I am grateful that this person is still trying cajoling tactics. Sometimes people are angry when they have ad-emergencies.)
I am sorry, but it is not physically possible to go back, put your request in, and then print all the current issues to include your placement. Why, you ask?
See title.
This is seriously like calling your old high-school and telling them that you secretly wanted to be in cheerleading, so can they arrange that? You'd like your photos taken in high-school and distributed in your senior yearbook.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
But why did the butler do it?
Today's customer advice: 'It never hurts to ask', but please do so respectfully. "Gimme all the discounts you can" or "How much off of this will you give me?" are not pleasant ways to be addressed. Try "Are there any specials you can tell me about?" or "Are there any discount programs I can join today?" Much nicer, and it gives the employee an opportunity to discuss the matter with you respectfully if there are no discounts available.
Remember: Employees do not work FOR YOU. They work for their employer, who also doesn't work FOR YOU. They are either working for a wage or in business to provide a service in exchange for legal tender, so please remember to treat everyone with respect, and not like 'the help'. Treating people like 'the help' can make 'the help' want to poison you. Y'know that common phrase "The butler did it"? Try to imagine why the butler did it, and avoid those instigating actions.
Remember: Employees do not work FOR YOU. They work for their employer, who also doesn't work FOR YOU. They are either working for a wage or in business to provide a service in exchange for legal tender, so please remember to treat everyone with respect, and not like 'the help'. Treating people like 'the help' can make 'the help' want to poison you. Y'know that common phrase "The butler did it"? Try to imagine why the butler did it, and avoid those instigating actions.
No contrary opinions allowed
No, really. I mean that title.
Why do we, as a species, feel the need to join groups where our opinion isn't wanted? Why is there always the one person at the "We Heart Ferrets Only" group who thinks their lower opinion of this questionably noble animal must be voiced? What is it about our pre-loaded ego that makes us think that honesty, even when not wanted or necessary, is something we should air?
In short, why do people join a thread or chat room and voice a contrary opinion to the one stated on the header? If it's a whoopin' they're a wantin', there are easier ways. Still, this phenomenon is interesting if you can remember to step far enough back to view it from a safe distance. Like watching predators disembowel a kill, there could be splashback, and your high horse doesn't like to be spattered with gore when it carries you through the thoroughfaire so you can spit on the peasants. Filthy mongrels, aren't they?
Why do we, as a species, feel the need to join groups where our opinion isn't wanted? Why is there always the one person at the "We Heart Ferrets Only" group who thinks their lower opinion of this questionably noble animal must be voiced? What is it about our pre-loaded ego that makes us think that honesty, even when not wanted or necessary, is something we should air?
In short, why do people join a thread or chat room and voice a contrary opinion to the one stated on the header? If it's a whoopin' they're a wantin', there are easier ways. Still, this phenomenon is interesting if you can remember to step far enough back to view it from a safe distance. Like watching predators disembowel a kill, there could be splashback, and your high horse doesn't like to be spattered with gore when it carries you through the thoroughfaire so you can spit on the peasants. Filthy mongrels, aren't they?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Online Etiquette, or How to Keep a High Horse Healthy
I just read some more rants on Ravelry (I'm wondrousitem, by the way) and I'm always surprised (and then almost immediately enraged) at the constant bickering of online rights, pattern copyrights, photo credits, etcetera. True, there are hundreds of seemingly valid opinions for the various stances, but there is one amazingly simple solution to "How Do I Make Sure My Thing Isn't Stolen?"
Do not put it on the internet.
The internets are wonderful, but evil. Like eating an entire yellow cake (with chocolate frosting). I know this. It's fantastic, and great in the process, but the possibility of gastrointestinal distress is potentially cry-worthy. The long and short is this: If you don't want others to have it (whether this is limited to a particular usage of your product/item, or merely an insistence on crediting you with its creation), do not put it out there. At all.
If you must, must share this thing, consider the medium you choose to do it with as a sort of filter. Books are harder to steal than PDFs, but will be loaned and borrowed due to their restricting costs. Magazines are a closer bet, as their limited circulation and availability make it hard to mass reproduce your contribution. The internets? That's megaphoning while standing on the roof. Those pictures of your kids covered in ice cream? Just got downloaded for a clown's advertisement for parties. That carefully constructed pattern for fishnet hair snoods? A screenshot is being emailed and modified to make a toy net. Yay for sharing, but the only downfall is that you can't take it back.
Think of it like gossip. You can say what you want to a close friend, but you can't control who they might tell. You can trust your friend (I hope), but a coworker overheard and remembers a year later at a picnic at just the moment when you pass by. It's a clever joke you thought up. Because of the funny, it gets retold and spread across the world. You can't stop it, and most times you wouldn't want to, but you have to let it go, like children to college. Release your fear that you are responsible for, or have any control over, what it/they do next. You could prosecute, sure, but are the costs worth the constant hassle of having to remain ever vigilant? If they are, be my guest. If not, you will be cast as the evil and greedy person persecuting the underdog time and again, becuase those underdogs will never stop.
It's okay, Spiderman. It wasn't a spider bite, it was an internet post. You are not responsible for this. (Also, that vulture guy? Needs mental help you can't provide. And stop making deals with the devil. He's the/a devil! It never works out in the end.)
Do not put it on the internet.
The internets are wonderful, but evil. Like eating an entire yellow cake (with chocolate frosting). I know this. It's fantastic, and great in the process, but the possibility of gastrointestinal distress is potentially cry-worthy. The long and short is this: If you don't want others to have it (whether this is limited to a particular usage of your product/item, or merely an insistence on crediting you with its creation), do not put it out there. At all.
If you must, must share this thing, consider the medium you choose to do it with as a sort of filter. Books are harder to steal than PDFs, but will be loaned and borrowed due to their restricting costs. Magazines are a closer bet, as their limited circulation and availability make it hard to mass reproduce your contribution. The internets? That's megaphoning while standing on the roof. Those pictures of your kids covered in ice cream? Just got downloaded for a clown's advertisement for parties. That carefully constructed pattern for fishnet hair snoods? A screenshot is being emailed and modified to make a toy net. Yay for sharing, but the only downfall is that you can't take it back.
Think of it like gossip. You can say what you want to a close friend, but you can't control who they might tell. You can trust your friend (I hope), but a coworker overheard and remembers a year later at a picnic at just the moment when you pass by. It's a clever joke you thought up. Because of the funny, it gets retold and spread across the world. You can't stop it, and most times you wouldn't want to, but you have to let it go, like children to college. Release your fear that you are responsible for, or have any control over, what it/they do next. You could prosecute, sure, but are the costs worth the constant hassle of having to remain ever vigilant? If they are, be my guest. If not, you will be cast as the evil and greedy person persecuting the underdog time and again, becuase those underdogs will never stop.
It's okay, Spiderman. It wasn't a spider bite, it was an internet post. You are not responsible for this. (Also, that vulture guy? Needs mental help you can't provide. And stop making deals with the devil. He's the/a devil! It never works out in the end.)
Withdrawal
I left my knitting at home. It's lunchtime and I have no knitting. That is what lunchime is for, aside from a few quick moments to stuff food into my head.
I am working on the second of these socks, but the one photo will have to suffice. Photos take away from knitting time, as does sleep, and that hateful need for food (and its usual requirement of at least one of my knitting hands. Yes, I do have another pair, har har. I'm keeping the second pair in the box. For resale value.). Also, bathing, usually. I'm excited to finish these socks as I have many other things to do.
Things to do:
Post review for chumps (Hellsing Ultimate 1 - 4)
Knit something for impending niece2 (daughter of niece)
Make two knot bags (nieces)
Find quality kitchen knives or blank dvds (mother of brood)
Find a very casually specific pokemon game (nephew for late birthday)
That last one's a doozy. I carefully explained my "no christmas" method to the family. Nephew, who was born in February, immediately believes he will be skipped for 2009, since his birthday is over. I explain the concept of back-dating a birthday card. All is solved, right? Well, I ask what he'd like. A toy, or something to play with. Right...like I know Bakugan from the latest Power Rangers incarnation? Besides, I'm thinking educational. Something to read or at least something with complicated instructions. Oh! He'd like a game! But what game? Well, any game really. For any of his systems, but especially a pokemon game. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. Any game, really. Except not the Mystery Dungeon that takes place in the cave. The other one. Or any game, but mostly the Mystery Dungeon not-in-a-cave for the DS.
Good try, kid. Just skip and go to the begging, okay? You'd save time. Besides, your groveling pleas might amuse me.
Today's customer advice: Don't send an anonymous letter of complaint. You don't care enough to leave your name and contact information, then I don't care enough to read your letter. The postal service probably appreciated your patronage, though.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Wedding Surprise: Revealed!
This is my super secret project, a lacy lovely shawl to become some heritage piece in a branch of my family. Instead of throwing a bouquet at our cookout/very late reception, I intend to bunch this puppy up into a bouquet shape (somehow) and toss it to my sisters regardless of their own marital status and let them take home not a crumpled bunch of dead plant genetalia (which could be lovely, but are unarguably hard to keep nice), but an item they can not only personalize with dye, reblocking, etc, but something that might become an heirloom with time.That's my fun thought, really: That some future generation, long since separated from Auntie LJ, receiving their only working knowledge of me as a doddering but doting distant relative via birthday cards and the occasional reunion, would have this treasure made by my own hand. It's a nice thought for me regardless of whether or not that future recipient would ever know that the blue-haired (electric blue. I'll be old, so I won't have to pretend any adherence to convention.) old lady made this in her youth while planning her elopement.
I wonder...
Y'know what's awful? That no one who sees this will understand that the above line indicates, no, INSISTS that you take immediate cover and attempt to become invisible if you have any self-preservation instincts at all. Well, i take it back. Someone might see it and understand, but not for a long time, because i intend to keep this blog a semi-secret for a time, just to be sure I don't spend all of my waking hours when the internet is available attempting to coerce deservingly annoying people into a firm belief that suicide isn't only 'the answer' but quite possibly the only socially responsible action available to them.
Things you should know:
*I don't like capitalizing my "i"s midsentence. That should be reserved for deities and proper nouns. "I" is not my name, hence it is not a proper noun. And actually, i'd prefer to refer to close friends and family using lowercase letters anyway, since we're already being informal. I will quite possibly lapse into capitalizing the "i", simply because i spend my days writing business emails, and my personal preferences regarding grammar are too vast to convey to persons with an average lifespan, so I conform.
*I intend this to be a crafting blog, giving me an outlet for rage/pride that my non-handicraft Belov'd might not entirely understand, though his sense of fairness would behoove him to listen politely and nod at the (hopefully) appropriate moments. So I shall spare him, and inflict these ravings on the unknown.
Good morning, Unknown, Anonymous, and Random733tspeak.
Today is monday, and it is a workday. Today's customer advice is "Don't complain that a free product is not awesome enough for you. It was/is free, and you get what you pay for."
Things you should know:
*I don't like capitalizing my "i"s midsentence. That should be reserved for deities and proper nouns. "I" is not my name, hence it is not a proper noun. And actually, i'd prefer to refer to close friends and family using lowercase letters anyway, since we're already being informal. I will quite possibly lapse into capitalizing the "i", simply because i spend my days writing business emails, and my personal preferences regarding grammar are too vast to convey to persons with an average lifespan, so I conform.
*I intend this to be a crafting blog, giving me an outlet for rage/pride that my non-handicraft Belov'd might not entirely understand, though his sense of fairness would behoove him to listen politely and nod at the (hopefully) appropriate moments. So I shall spare him, and inflict these ravings on the unknown.
Good morning, Unknown, Anonymous, and Random733tspeak.
Today is monday, and it is a workday. Today's customer advice is "Don't complain that a free product is not awesome enough for you. It was/is free, and you get what you pay for."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)