Still no pictures

Okay, my super late present is finally here, and I'm going sort of haywire with Volks Dollfie Dream stuff. I'm ordering her a whole new torso, (AND testing their hair-dryer plan at home), some wig sticky, a wig cap, a body suit that helps to protect her from staining, and some freaking socks.

Then! I will investigate knitting some laceweight sweaters, since the outfit from volks that includes a VERY loosely knit and sheer sweater (and a cute skirt) is way out of my price range. I do have sock needles, and hell if I can't knit something just as good, and possibly with more shaping, and definitely less see-through.

The shoes are still an issue. A ridiculous issue.

My main gripe is this: there have GOT to be other Continental North American Dollfie Dream owners out there. People for whom the aesthetic and price were met and merged in this economic and adorable collectible. The ultimate in customizable figures, she stands an impressive 25" tall (approx) and has fantastic poseablility and is even able to stand on her own. Extra head molds are also available, as well as hands, body parts, wigs, and eyes to make each doll as unique as the owner's vision can allow. However, customizing your character or ideal collectible is not complete without clothing. )At least, for those who aren't planning on simply displaying their doll as a poseable anime-esque nude.)

Granted, I know where the other owners are (denofangels, mostly, or hiding out as normies without devoting much online presence to their doll), but WHERE are these people getting clothing for their doll. AND SHOES?!?

Volksusa sells things custom-tailored for Dollfie Dream, and they're always great, but they don't offer a lot of variety or options. Where are the standard blouses? The skirts? (THE SHOES!) Where is the plain underkimono, and elaborate outer kimono? The different school shoes or loose schoolgirl socks? Surely the whole world doesn't plan to knit such socks in such tiny gauges? I mean, I can on some 000 needles or something, but really, shouldn't this be the age of industrialism, where my every desire is met in huge quantities for a reasonable value of work-to-cost? Do these other owners not care that their home-made outfit looks horrible because it came from a pattern for a completely different doll? Do they like that the print on their doll's sundress is way too huge for any concept of realistic scale to apply? Did they always dream of a doll with a rabbit fur wig that looks like matted crap? Don't get me started on face-ups, also. I've seen some good ones, but for every one that looks professional, there seems to be another person perfectly proud to own a crack-whore clown.

You spent money on this. A lot of it. If you have the budget to waste these things, please just send me your money and pretend that you bought, ruined, and have "stored" another ABJD. I will pretend also, and we can chat about your not-real (and therefore not ruined, wasted, or stored beyond your sight) doll. For every $200 you send, I will give you 6 months of fake friendship, during which time I will listen, rapt, to your every rambling about this idealized character you've imagined for your doll, gush over your description of the outfits, wigs, and accessories you envision, and devotedly sigh when you itemize the contents of it's tiny purse. It will be like having a doll so perfect that it can't exist in this reality. And your money will be put to entertaining use, purchasing things for my own doll that are suited to this reality, yarn for my knitting habit, and a big screen tv for my front room.

Still, if you spent the money on a this hobby, and feel that you'd like to save up for another doll or five, why aren't you taking the effort to either pony up for tailor-made outifts, or at least attempting to create something that looks feasable yourself? Why do things half-assed? If you're going to do it, go all out. Stop wasting money on brand-name food, and spend it on your dolls. If you must, craft these necessities yourself! You took the time to learn the lingo, browse hundreds of yahoo!Japan auctions, and familiarize yourself with every nuance of your new toy. Now try learning new skills to further your domination of this retail sport! Sew a decent skirt, but not just something that covers the doll pelvis. Look at a skirt in a store, and then imagine that shrunk down porpotionally. Don't tie a strip of fabrick from armpits to knees and belt it with a rubberband. That is not a dress. Anyone who wears that in public, and believes they look normal, either needs medication and therapy, or euthenasia. Surely we, who produce such geniuses that can paint masterpieces on pinheads and craft intricately detailed miniature homes and embroidered coinpurses can figure out fabric scale, design, and sewing. And the shoes...

Barefoot is only an option if it matches the outfit's theme or implied location. A beach dress? Fine. A winter coat? Not fine.

People used to make shoes from SCRATCH, after all. We relied on cobblers (or lots of wrapped rags) for hundreds of years before we came up with the whole extra-continental child-labor factories. Surely it can't be that hard to figure out, right?

There has GOT to be an easier way to achieve shoes that don't look like Cabbage Patch shoes on a Barbie. I'm thinking thin plastic soles cut to match the doll feet, and then making a shoe form by doing a mold of said foot with clay (safely wrapped in saran-wrap), and baking this impression into a mold. Then, fill the mold with white clay, and the baked result should render a feasable model. The white clay appendage will not only be much less valuable, in case of breakage, stabbage, or gluage, but also might show staining hazards long before I put the item on the actual doll. I could also glue or sew a thin material liner to the interior to help prevent staining.

Then I can stretch heavy starched canvas or thin leather over the foot mold however I want, and wet/stretch to shape. Stitch to size/shape, glue to sole, and done, right?

If I can figure this much out with my limited grasp on clothing creation, where are all you nutty people who could do it better? Are you all so intensely devoted to completely opposite crafts/hobbies? All of you?

I am the phantom disagree-er.

It's me. And I'm not shy of admitting it, here at least. If I admit at the scene of the crime, not only would I lose my mystique (I'm Batman.) but it would defeat the very purpose of disagreeing without owning it. I am punishing you, after all. Using means available to me, and keeping safely away from your 6 square reach on that touch attack of enraged mad-freakout.

When you're a douche, when you are crazy judgemental, when you join the "I Heart Cats" group and say "yeah, but dogs are better. In fact, cats are lame." I'll be there. Like Darkwing Duck. I am the disapproval that comes from nowhere.

When you've really upset me, and I feel that a public forum is not the place to have a logical discussion with someone who's obviously so far beyond crazy that crazy can't see you anymore, I look up your Ravelry profile. Then I click on "posts", then I hit every post you've ever done and disagree with it, just to be sure that you know someone hates you with every fiber of their being. When my anger winds down, I stop. Sometimes I don't get beyond 8 or so posts. Sometimes I get through all of them. (Those are the real dirtbags.) Then, when you bitch about the phantom disagree-er, I laugh and wipe a tear from my eye. It makes me happy.

I just wish it caused you some physical pain.

Simple Pleasures

I watch a lot of anime. A lot. Seriously. I practically get paid in anime, so I've seen a lot of things. Unfortunately, this means I've seen a lot of One Piece, which, over time, apparently results in brain lesions that simulate mild enjoyment when watching the show. I think my brain is bleeding, but nothing is leaking out yet, so I'll just wait for oblivion to wipe my shame from the earth.

Incidentally, viewing 13 episodes really gives you a fantastic chunk of time where your hands are unoccupied, freeing up that 13MBs of brain-space to open a new window and let you knit while you watch tv! I finished my socks this way, and am now trudging through several more inches of Husband's scarf. Really need to get paid, though, so I can order the SBJ pattern and have that at hand. Imagine! The garter stitch! Oh the simplicity!

Also! I recently picked up a new novel while visiting our local comic store (Comic Interlude . Highly recommended for that authentic geek feel, with towering piles of anime/comic related merchandise stacked so deep that they qualify as sub-par building materials and literally define the store's layout, and aisles so full of comic happiness that you have to walk single file around the the center pile o' swag, as if paying a strange homage to the ink-stained gods of stories past.) and have rediscovered the soul-glowing wonder that is: Reading a book you've never read before.
True to form, the novel I currently am savoring is Hellboy: Fire Wolves, and it's pretty awesome. Of course, Hellboy is usually awesome, and when writers are so taken with Mike Mignola's characters and world that they themselves are deemed worthy of contributing....well, it helps a lot. My only fear is that Poor Mr. Lebbon will find himself succumbing to that ever-present societal undercurrent of underdog vs. world stories, and give Hellboy a romantic interlude with the damsel in distress. I hate that.

(And let me take a moment to eyeball you in an intimidating manner, Del Toro. You have stained the world I love, and will never be forgiven. Also, WTF with Pan's Labyrinth? You need mental help, and I almost hope you never get it, so your twisted visions will drag you into a strange new level of torment from which there is no escape. I mean, yes, Mignola is teh awesum, but you're like the cruel bigger kid that, recognizing within your primitive perception a kind of beauty you can't achieve on your own, gloms onto the artistic child and drags them into your rounds, having them kick the victims after you've pushed them into the mud and stolen their ice-cream money. Then you twist your features into that manic smile, declare "We're so the best of friends!" in that screeching howl you use when you are happy and, using one crooked paw to steer/drag your accomlice with you, you begin plotting your next assault. We all see it, and we hope to whatever powers that be that the artistic one escapes your 'friendship' before their talent turns ugly-by-association.)
Hellboy is undeniably cool, but I find I can't accept the possibility of him having 'flings'. By his very nature and origin, he a lonely and long-haul type of guy (however long or short that 'haul' may be), so I find the possibility of throwing a random damsel into the mix mildly disgusting. Also, Del Toro, Hellboy practically raised Liz, in a definite big-brother fashion. Again, you need to seek psychiatric care.

Because I do not yet control space-time

Do you know that I have funny stories about my work, but I feel I can't share them with you?
I would love to go into great detail about these, but I fear this outlet is not anonymous enough to protect the sensitive eyes of possible clients.

I will give you the short version:
I work in advertising, assisting the completion of up to 5 publications at a time. One of these is weekly, and printed a full 4 days prior to the date printed on the cover. Our deadlines for each issue fall in the previous week, to ensure that we have enough time to organize a layout, arrange for any ad changes, and to give us a small overnight cushion between printing and shipping.
On a day when my boss was absent, I recieved a call from an upset client, claiming a problem with the hot-off-the-presses issue. I whipped out my copy, bracing myself for a copy error that listed a wrong number, email, contact name, etcetera. Expecting something huge and evil that could seriously affect a client's business, right?
Wrong.
"Alright, I've got my copy open in front of me. What can I do for you?"
The client wants in this issue.
I am shocked. How can...? What? Surely not. Surely there is just a confusion of issue dates and they want in next week.
Wrong.
The client discussed the matter with my boss, and was assured they could be in the issue of their choosing.
Oh crap. This is bad. Did I miss a call? I am now frantically scrabbling through my desk. Looking for an overlooked post-it, or email, or blood trail with message scrawled in life-juice.
Customer is becoming upset. This issue should include their ad. What can I do about this? (They are becoming upset, probably, at my quiet freak-out, instead of smooth explanations. I've worked on that since then.)
I am still kicking files apart, for all the world like an addict seeking out that final "in case" hit. People could be getting shot and I would be shaking the computer in an attempt to jostle some information on this client into functionality. What to do? Should I offer a reconciliatory free ad? Do I have that authority? Was it even our fault? Wait....wait a second.
"When did you discuss this with my boss?"
Last month, it seems. And again, a week or so ago. Did they tell anyone they wanted the ad then?
No. The decision had not been made at the time. It was made this morning.
Oh. Relief, like a sweet breath of air in space. Now I simply have to find a way to gently explain our processes to this person.
"I am terribly sorry, but as I told you, I am looking at the finished issue now."
Yes, they are aware. They'd like to be in this issue. Still perturbed, but very professional and direct.
"Um...my apologies, but the issue is printed, and being distributed. I can get you into the next issue without any problem."
Nope, that would require a new decision. Can we simply not slide them in? (Now, I am grateful that this person is still trying cajoling tactics. Sometimes people are angry when they have ad-emergencies.)
I am sorry, but it is not physically possible to go back, put your request in, and then print all the current issues to include your placement. Why, you ask?

See title.

This is seriously like calling your old high-school and telling them that you secretly wanted to be in cheerleading, so can they arrange that? You'd like your photos taken in high-school and distributed in your senior yearbook.

No contrary opinions allowed

No, really. I mean that title.

Why do we, as a species, feel the need to join groups where our opinion isn't wanted? Why is there always the one person at the "We Heart Ferrets Only" group who thinks their lower opinion of this questionably noble animal must be voiced? What is it about our pre-loaded ego that makes us think that honesty, even when not wanted or necessary, is something we should air?

In short, why do people join a thread or chat room and voice a contrary opinion to the one stated on the header? If it's a whoopin' they're a wantin', there are easier ways. Still, this phenomenon is interesting if you can remember to step far enough back to view it from a safe distance. Like watching predators disembowel a kill, there could be splashback, and your high horse doesn't like to be spattered with gore when it carries you through the thoroughfaire so you can spit on the peasants. Filthy mongrels, aren't they?

Online Etiquette, or How to Keep a High Horse Healthy

I just read some more rants on Ravelry (I'm wondrousitem, by the way) and I'm always surprised (and then almost immediately enraged) at the constant bickering of online rights, pattern copyrights, photo credits, etcetera. True, there are hundreds of seemingly valid opinions for the various stances, but there is one amazingly simple solution to "How Do I Make Sure My Thing Isn't Stolen?"

Do not put it on the internet.

The internets are wonderful, but evil. Like eating an entire yellow cake (with chocolate frosting). I know this. It's fantastic, and great in the process, but the possibility of gastrointestinal distress is potentially cry-worthy. The long and short is this: If you don't want others to have it (whether this is limited to a particular usage of your product/item, or merely an insistence on crediting you with its creation), do not put it out there. At all.
If you must, must share this thing, consider the medium you choose to do it with as a sort of filter. Books are harder to steal than PDFs, but will be loaned and borrowed due to their restricting costs. Magazines are a closer bet, as their limited circulation and availability make it hard to mass reproduce your contribution. The internets? That's megaphoning while standing on the roof. Those pictures of your kids covered in ice cream? Just got downloaded for a clown's advertisement for parties. That carefully constructed pattern for fishnet hair snoods? A screenshot is being emailed and modified to make a toy net. Yay for sharing, but the only downfall is that you can't take it back.

Think of it like gossip. You can say what you want to a close friend, but you can't control who they might tell. You can trust your friend (I hope), but a coworker overheard and remembers a year later at a picnic at just the moment when you pass by. It's a clever joke you thought up. Because of the funny, it gets retold and spread across the world. You can't stop it, and most times you wouldn't want to, but you have to let it go, like children to college. Release your fear that you are responsible for, or have any control over, what it/they do next. You could prosecute, sure, but are the costs worth the constant hassle of having to remain ever vigilant? If they are, be my guest. If not, you will be cast as the evil and greedy person persecuting the underdog time and again, becuase those underdogs will never stop.

It's okay, Spiderman. It wasn't a spider bite, it was an internet post. You are not responsible for this. (Also, that vulture guy? Needs mental help you can't provide. And stop making deals with the devil. He's the/a devil! It never works out in the end.)