Ornithoscelidophobia and other scary things

So: For starters, I will openly admit that I have a fear of dinosaurs. Possibly not always of the running-screaming kind, but definitely dependent on what SIZE and NUMBERS these animals arrive/appear in. Much in the way an arachnophobe can muster the strength of will to smoosh an octo-legged interloper, I can tamp down my terror in favor of watching well-acted idiots tramp around in genetic no-no land.

However, if ever confronted with anything larger than a small dog, or in numbers greater than two, I might just die of spontaneous mental overload. (Herbivores aren't super scary in themselves, except to illustrate the sheer size of things that will soon be here to eat herbivores.)

That said, we watched Paranomal Activity (the movie) last night.

Now, creepy stuff on its own triggers my logical retreat instinct. This couple lives in a home together, and it seems they've moved from their last home due to the occasional (but annoying and creepy) unexplained phenomena. Fine. I get that. (And good for them for having the capital to move so quickly/completely.)

However, girlfriend (who seems to be the trigger for this stuff, and is understandably upset/tired of it) should've long ago left the boyfriend (who is clearly funding this descent into stupidity, both in financial, real-estate, and paranormal escalation). Intrigued and excited by the weird crap that happens to his beloved, he decides to record not only their bedroom at night, but carry the camera around during the investigation of any nocturnal noises, or during the daytime, when Sol's light seems to bring a recession in creepy shit, but also in the desire to GTFO.

Long story short, boyfriend tends to disregard girlfriend's firm requests and verbally provoke/dick-waggle-at the entity who they've been told by a psychic/ghost-hunter is possibly horribly violent, and they should in no way make contact/open communication with. What's that Boyfriend?
1.) No Ouija board. What? WTF is that? Oh you didn't buy it? Well, you're a shithead and I'm not playing with you. We're leaving.
2.) You said you'd stop with the camera, and I'm uber-pissed.
3.) What's that? You're going to solve this yourownself with not even the googling skills of a marmot? Sure. Let's put off calling the demonologist/specialist in favor of your bullshit schemes.
4.) Why is girlfriend still sleeping on the outside of the bed after footprints appeared leading up to her, video is captured of somthing fucking with her sheets (her side of the bed, only), and the door closest to her moving on it's own?

Well, it's a decently-intentioned movie that manages to convey the charm of DiY ghost recording with none of the vomit-inducing pain of Blair Witch, so I was creeped out and had bad dreams (mostly of me trying to kill the boyfriend in hopes of appeasing the entity, or of escaping the house so it would at least have to work to find me and haunt me). In one of my dreams, my inner lizard-brain decided that since the footprints were large, and three-toed, the entity that was causing all this strife was an invisible raptor. I have never been so afraid in my life.

Behold its splendor in this artist's rendering:

























I have never been so convinced of something's ultimate lethality in my life. All other fears pale in comparison. I may never sleep easy again.


P.S. The average human has yet to find a better self-defence and audible "FUCK OFF" than a large-gauge shotgun. Why people would suffer an entity that has enough tangible mass to physically affect objects without resorting to a firearm charged with oak, ash, poppyseeds, holy water and silver is beyond my reasoning.

If you can't kill it with a shotgun, you are not using the right ammo.