Sometimes life is harder than it needs to be.

Or at least that's how it seems.

Here's the deal: I have a Dollfie Dream, which is awesome. She has very few clothes, which is not awesome. I got her for a number of reasons, not least of which my fascination with small objects and miniatures, which I felt would give me great squealing glee to dress her in the flounciest of hand-made fashions and match them down to every detail. After all, at about 2 feet tall, outfitting her perfect wardrobe would be much easier than outfitting my own, right?

Wrong.
I can get an outfit for around $60, not including shoes. She can get an outfit for $80, including shoes. So it's her or me.

Fine, I'll make her some clothes.
Except I loaned my sewing machine to 6, and haven't received the promised replacement torso from D yet, so I am loathe to use her only functioning body as a dress form.

Still, in the interest of crafting something, perhaps I can wrap my brain around documenting my struggle, from masking-tape-and-t-shirt-dress form to figuring out how to make awesome shoes for her.

Damn you, plasticland, and the love of retro-awesome you have instilled in me.

I have an (unappetizing) picture

True to my future intents, I have brought a picture to share. Behold: Baby Goat Cookies!

So named because while they started out as individual items, a single serving apiece as-it-were, they cooked into each other and now resemble what I always found intriguingly cute about Cthulu mythos: "Shub-Niggurath: The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young". This baking tray holds all manner of cinnamon-sugar biscuit-y things, all nestled up cute next to each other as I imagine a field of adorable baby goats.

I am aware, naysayers, that not only is Shub-Niggurath horrendous beyond belief, whose very visage would render any functioning person a mere gibbering heap of meat and fear. And bones, obviously. Still, the name continues to tender images of frolicking, bleating, can-eating, and wooly baby goats, their tiny horns festooned with garlands of spring flowers.

Hence, Sugar-"Nom"urath cookies.

Eat it. (<-Ha!)

They were edible, if somewhat undercooked, and have yet to induce delusions or dementia of any kind.

I have problems.

1.) I still don't like to post without pictures. It's fine to write, but super boring to read. I need to work on this, but the thing is...well... I guess there isn't a thing. I'll start using the hell out ouf USB drives to provide photos I guess.

2.) I hide from my second job. I have taken to carrying around my notebook and chumpworthy USB drive to encourage this to stop. Still, I tend to not even crack the laptop at home as often, as if I'm saving it for something special. Like the lifespan will be extended if I conserve its use as much as possible. Not true, I'll bet. Also, the keyboard likes to pretend, randomly, that I'm pressing CTRL. Makes it really hard to do anything, since typing the letter "t" can open a new tab online while you're in the middle of a search , or attempting to utilize the word can't will:
First center the text, then open a new file, then tab the indent over to the left.
Suxxorz.

3.) I think I'm addicted to either avoiding busywork, or the internet. The first is a minor problem. The second, well, it may be a symptom really. Since we lost our high cubicle walls at work, I am forced to hear every. single. inane. word out of my coworkers mouths. Who dated whom over the weekend. How someone's sister/brother/aunt/cousin/sorority sister had a baby and how big it is and what it's name is and isn't that outfit the sweetest? Can you believe Kanye blah blah blah. Oh no Patrick Swayze blah blah blah. Hear me be witty. Aren't I catty? We're so awesome.

My only refuge is my headphones and frontalot, or youtube, or hulu. Using these sites as my personal radio, I am sometimes able to forget their inaninty for a time. However, I run out of material long before they do, and thus, I am forced to look at kitten photos to contain my rage and ascerbic taunts.

Please, people, use the phone to talk to people in offices across the way. Open some kind of chat screen or something. Please focus on work, or quietly blog, like the rest of us.

Also: Dear "superiors". If you have gone through the trouble of putting together an envelope of materials to be mailed, sealed it, and then write the address by hand on a post it note...well, you're just dumb. Doing all that work and dropping the item off to me to be mailed is just adding an extra step. Try, oh, I dunno...WRITING THE ADDRESS ON THE ENVELOPE! Then the job is done! No steps! No useless and unnecessary delegation!

OMG WHO NEEDS REAL PETS

Work all day? Can't get your fix of belly-up cats while away from home?
Try Abowman for all your google blog gadget needs. And this could be just the motivation I need to blog daily! Who would feed my Hamtaro otherwise? Who WOULD FEED MY FISH?

Obsession=poissonne

I find myself unwilling to write anything, but desperately craving a reason to go to blogger.
To feed the fish.
The not-real fish to your right.
The gadget some genius made that makes me wish it was a leetle more in-depth so it could completely replace my need to keep the betta at home. (Noro. He knows he's replaceable. I keep him for his prettiness, and I can get another if he decides to kick off. The last one was named Noro also, as will be the next.)

I already have a foster home lined up for him, I think.

Things to consider: possible background that looks like a riverbed or fishtank bottom, or a screen from Frogger. Cute little mouths to nobble at the food. Optional tank decoration (those cave things in colors that even ravers would blink at). Breeding possiblities! Tails, coloration, completely unrealistic breeds! I could spend days at this. I am not lying. I have completed decades in various Harvest Moon incarnations. I lust for a Wii not for its strange and interesting controls, or even the variety of disney-tastic games, but merely for the Harvest Moon option of raising ducks, geese, chickens, sheep, goats, and OSTRICHES! Natsume, if you could just get on the Chocobo-breeding ball, I would dedicate years of my life to carefully breeding interesting colorations of all available animals, desperately seeking the elusive gene to give my llama wings or allow my chicken to lay decorated eggs.

Also, as most humans, I am interested in this AdSense thing. Why yes, I would like you to give me money for absolutely no vested energy in return, as well as filling up that embarassingly bare space to the left of my blog.
However, I would like to select the advertisers, or at least the products that will be displayed. Knitting or anime things, but not shoelaces or that godsawful "mom's secret" tooth cleaning discovery or waistline adjustment feeding schedule/supplement (normally called a "diet"). Can we do that, Google?
I mean, here is my blog, and thanks, but if we're pretending I'm in charge, you can't take the keys away when we get to the car.

Flapper

3:09 pm. Will post letter momentarily instructing possible sock-test sock recipient on how to measure biggest part of foot. Will also begin heel flap on next "knit break"*.

*Hey, I don't smoke, but I still think I deserve occasional breaks just as a smoker would. Just because I'm not chemically addicted to anything doesn't make me less of a lazy asshole.

Perfectionism at work?

I find that I don't want to blog unless I have a picture that illustrates what I'm talking about.
Example:

1.) I'd like to ponder the reasons some persons prefer the 2 [circular] needle method of sock knitting. I use one really long needle, and can't see the benefit of using two, unless it was the bonus of having a second needle in that size for emergencies. Still, I feel I need to show my position with photos. Edited to add: It seems that my method is the "magic loop" method. I still feel it is easier to knit with ONE circular in the dark, especially if each side of the sock is using a different needle. My mental image of two-circ socks is a tube growing vertically between two opposite-spinning wheels. Interestesting, perhaps even Seussical, but not practical.

2.) I'd like to discuss day 4 of the sock test-knit, and illustrate my preference for the "slip-replace-k2togtbl" method of making a "ssk"-ish left leaning decrease.

3.) I need to post my awesome Star Trek photo, but I have to scan it somehow first. Brace yourselves for a photo of a photo.

4.) I am reviewing a Devil May Cry complete box set, and the interior DVD cases feature a heapin' helping of crotch each, though I suppose it is meant to showcase the gun in the character's hand? This is too weird for me to not document it for the masses.