No, not really, but hey, since no one knows about this blog except one sister and one best friend, I'll risk a funny story for your amusement.
Once upon a time, two friends went to an adult-toy store and each made a modest purchase, fully backed by the support of the other. The friend in question here got a blue thingy, with a weird but subtle bulbous tip that made it quite honestly look like a stylized and catchy-bit-free version of a chess bishop.
SO: A million years later, this thing lies unused (after a frankly disappointing and noisy first and only attempt) and unloved in a sock drawer, while the friend wishes she'd got something that didn't sound like an egg beater or a cat toy in a coffee tin. One night, it is dark and stormy and she is tidying up the laundry, which lives on the floor, because she is lazy and secretly believes in house elves (or something. It's a good a reason as any). The house is empty at night now, and it's a little fun and a little spooky, and she is placing things in the cabinets and cupboards while all three shiftless layabouts lounge in varying degrees of feline boredom when an especially emphatic shove to fit more items into the finite space of the sock drawer cause the item to engage operation RATTLE THE BONES AND SHIVER THE TIMBERS!
In the span of a second three furry animals turn into WHIRLING CHERUBS OF TEETH, FEAR, AND CLAWS while this embarrassingly enthusiastic piece of shitty plastic and shame attempts to bore through the cheap wood paneling of the drawers and into hell. Sadly, nothing further happened. I located the item, removed the [still good?] batteries and finally was glad to have proof that the damn thing was too noisy and distracting and just about as subtle as the snap of an elbow-length rubber glove at high noon in a proctologists' office. It is gone now. All is well, and I'm glad.
